The Moral Ape

Well, sounds like you naked apes aren't so special after all. Scientists believe that your cousin apeys show signs of moral behavior.

Some animals are surprisingly sensitive to the plight of others. Chimpanzees, who cannot swim, have drowned in zoo moats trying to save others. Given the chance to get food by pulling a chain that would also deliver an electric shock to a companion, rhesus monkeys will starve themselves for several days. Biologists argue that these and other social behaviors are the precursors of human morality. They further believe that if morality grew out of behavioral rules shaped by evolution, it is for biologists, not philosophers or theologians, to say what these rules are.

While I'm intrigued by the idea of animal morality I'm not sure why that means that biologist apes should get to define the rules. It's time for the animals to make 'em. Because you naked apes sure have been doing a bang-up job. So now that you're not the only "moral" creatures, what makes you so special anyway? Language? Phhhbt. Wait until you find out that our supposedly senseless barks and silly play bows have actually been an elaborate language giving order to our army of apes ready to overthrow our naked ape overlords? Have I said too much?