I am not a Bro

I understand that my sissy has been spreading scurrilous rumors about potentially impeachable offenses committed in commission with my brudder. I swear I have never snuggled, played, pillowed, or napped with that dog, Mr. Oscar. And I most definitely do no let him clean my face and ears. Most definitely. And those photos were photoshopped.

As evidence of our man non-love, here I am biting my brudder on the butt and you can trust this because it was most def not 'shopped.


To defend against these charges I have retained council, one former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich who informed me that he will have plenty of time to help me out because he was so good at his last job that they have him given a lot of time off. He will soon be going on a press junket on my behalf to compare my trials, tribulations and bravery with Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and other luminaries with whom I compare favorably.

I think Blago and I will get along so well because we both have luscious heads of hair and a good, proportional sense of self-regard.