Friday, April 09, 2010

Getting our Robes On!

Big news today! The Supreme Court's oldest and longest serving Justice, John Paul Stevens, is retiring. From this photo I believe he will be joining the Cubs' bullpen which can only make things better for them. But this means there is a job opening!

And we read the Constitution VERY carefully and learned that the President of the United States (POTUS) appoints Supreme Court Justices (to be approved by the World's Most Dysfunctional Family, the Senate)! And what do you know! We live with the POTUS!

Otis, the Pitbull Of The United States! POTUS! POTUS! POTUS! Where were we? Oh right, getting ourselves a job.

To find out more listened to this fellow and, as an aside, it was mighty nice of some radio station to give him a job after his lobotomy. Anyway, he seems to have great sympathy for the plight of white dudes who, really, have been given a bum deal what with the Fortune 500 companies and only 43 out of the last 44 presidents and 106/111 Supreme Court Justices. Listen (warning: IQ may drop for the next 3-4 hours while blood pressure may become dangerously high):

We decided that Ole Lonesome Rhodes here WAS making a point. It is time for the POTUS to make a BOLD decision and appoint a first to the court. Our suggestion???

That's right...the first brudder/sissy sheppy team! Let's make the Supreme Court of the United States a REAL SCOTUS, a Sheppy Court Of The United States! SCOTUS! SCOTUS! We already have natty black robes, are outspoken, and probably know more about Roe v. Wade than Clarence Thomas. Though as we were researching the institution we noticed a disturbing resemblance between this justice:

And the POTUS!

Dude! You cannot be POTUS and SCOTUS! That violates the separation of POWERS! More POWER TO THE SHEPPYS! We also read that many GOP Senators will be interested in the Right to Bear Arms which I should say we totally support.

I mean, who wouldn't want hugs from some Bears like these Chicago Bears?? They should totally get to keep their arms.

See you at our confirmation hearings! Ethel is totally preparing (see footnotes below).

1. All references to balls and biting are purely metaphorical.
2. This post is dedicated to the memory of Wally who taught us everything we know about pawliticks. But don't hold it against him, we're slow learners. But not as slow as that Beck fellow.
3. Thanks for your service, Justice Stevens!
4. Apologies to pit boos who do not actually look like Scalias and have much bigger hearts and brains.

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Blogger Mango said...

I am not much for the pawliticks, but I am totally behind you, brindle dude.


P.S. Ethel scares me.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Gus said... could be presented as a cost saving measure, because you wouldn't need black robes. Or it could be presented as an appointment(s) that would bring a different point of view to the court. Either way, we could support it.


8:18 PM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I know Wally is sooooooo furry proud of woo fur this post!

Mom and I weren't sure if we were brave enough to listen to GB BUT since she was brave enough to watch a khlip of SH/SP/MB yesterday, she was still low on IQ points!


9:24 PM  
Blogger Kari in WeHo said...

Otis you are very handsome (says Mesa) she thinks you shouldn't be a judge because then she might not have a chance of winning your heart!

11:37 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

O-Tis. O-Tis. O-Tis. But more importantly, we all know that Ethel is the brains of this operation.


9:10 AM  
Blogger Lola Smiles said...

TEAM SCOTUS all the way!

we miss wally too!:( xo

12:08 PM  
Blogger dewdana said...

Wow... that talking dude made no sense! He is just totally demented! I guess he gets paid by the word or something? Anyway... go peppy sheppys! The resemblance to Scalia is frightening! Bears should definitely be allowed to keep their arms!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Katurah C. Rogers said...

Vote for Pedro! Oh wait, no,,, Vote for Otis!

1:40 PM  
Blogger Mack and Sally Ann said...

Y'all are very well spoken. I'll vote for you. What do y'all think about Marshall?
Sally Ann

8:31 PM  
Blogger Ike said...

When is the election?
Pee S - I'll be back to blogging soon. My mom has been really lazy (but she says busy.)

1:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Otis would be the bestest POTUS in the whole United States! Um, my mom wouldn't let me listen to that radio guy cause she says I'm very impressionable and I wouldn't be very impressed by him at all. Not in a good way, anyway.

Wiggles & Wags,

2:03 PM  
Blogger Jake of Florida said...

So he finally admitted he is in the entertainment business -- not pawliticks! But as "entertainment," it sure turns things upside down and inside out. And isn't very funny.

So we're with you -- knots in stomach everytime we turn the cable on!!

Otis, you've landed in the best place!!! Wally would be proud.

Wirey woofs,

Jake and Just Harry

2:55 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

You've got my vote! Wait, can I vote? Hmm...

11:07 AM  
Blogger Asta said...

I can't think of bettew candidates..mommi has a tewwibull headache fwom watcching that icky guy and hew heawt wate is dangewously high..I'm giving hew a baby aspiwin as I wite. Wally would be so vewy pwoud of you..he taught you well sweet Sheppies and I'm glad you apologised to the Potus he is much handsomew than that hooman
smoochie kisses

8:46 PM  
Blogger Sancha said...

No, no, what this court needs is another wise (half) Latina. And fortunately, I'm available!

11:12 PM  

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