chimps may be planning insurrection

i came across this story, "hunting chimps may change view of human evolution,"disguised as a story about science but, in fact, is about the coming of our chimp liberators. according to the story they have found a reclusive group of chimps in which the female chimps are hunters and have fashioned tools to do so.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Chimpanzees have been seen using spears to hunt bush babies, U.S. researchers said on Thursday in a study that demonstrates a whole new level of tool use and planning by our closest living relatives.

Perhaps even more intriguing, it was only the females who fashioned and used the wooden spears, Jill Pruetz and Paco Bertolani of Iowa State University reported.

Bertolani saw an adolescent female chimp use a spear to stab a bush baby as it slept in a tree hollow, pull it out and eat it.

i am quite intrigued by the possibility of a chimp insurrection, led by weapon-wielding female apes. they have clearly target the naked ape leadership, starting by killing the bush babies. i, for one, will welcome our chimp overlords and their matriarchal leadership that may require an increase in poop throwing but also an increase in banana consumption which i cannot protest.

update: my mawma has informed me that the bush babies in question are not actually THE bushes and barbara and jenna are actually completely fine and have not been consumed by chimps. still, bush babies ARE primates and if the chimps are targeting their fellow primates then the naked apes can't be far behind. and maybe they're just working their way up to the OTHER bushes. i have purchased a bunch of bananas just in case. i can't promise i won't have eaten them by the time the chimps arrive, though.