A Moment of Silence

We'd like to take this moment to note the passing of Paul the Psychic Octopus, who was quite successful in picking the winners in the previous World Cup. We will miss you, our many-armed friend, even if you did doom our beloved Netherlands.

Big Love

Look! It's my ma ape. Oh I'm only kidding. It's Jessica the Hippo. But she has much in common with my ma ape.



Both of them drink 20 liters of coffee per day.


Both of them love puppies.

And if she could choose anyone to narrate her life, it would be John Waters.

Don't Badger Me

So this story came through my e-mail today:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said Wednesday. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road -- only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea. Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

I have asked my media team to release the following statement:

A spokesperson for Wally T. Corgador categorically denies the veracity of stories that the badger was seen earlier in the evening at a Berlin karaoke bar with a corgador wearing a "Don't Hassle the Hof" t-shirt while both ate fermented cherry pie and sang power ballads. Also the "W" is for Wally, not Wisconsin or Dubya.

It's Still Medicinal

My GranNE sent me this story "Stoned Wallabies Make Crop Circles."

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "as high as a kite", a government official has said.

Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.

It is merely a coincidence that one of my nicknames is "Wallabee."

And any poppy consumption was for medicinal purposes and/or poppy seed muffins, this photo of me with crazyeyes notwithstanding.