Thursday, July 09, 2009

Don't Badger Me

So this story came through my e-mail today:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said Wednesday. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road -- only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea. Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

I have asked my media team to release the following statement:

A spokesperson for Wally T. Corgador categorically denies the veracity of stories that the badger was seen earlier in the evening at a Berlin karaoke bar with a corgador wearing a "Don't Hassle the Hof" t-shirt while both ate fermented cherry pie and sang power ballads. Also the "W" is for Wally, not Wisconsin or Dubya.

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Blogger The Great Rock Eater said...

I believe you Wally!! You can't trust anything the media publishes anymore! A little photoshop and they can make anything happen they want! Stand strong Wally =)

6:56 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

That Badger is NOT from Wisconsin. They can drink anything and not get soused.

gussie d

7:39 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

I can't believe they didn't give that badger and greasy hamburger and a tylenol. After a night of partying with a corgador, you'd have one wicked headache!


8:33 AM  
Blogger Randi said...

Wow Wally - the media will just get you every time...I completely believe you...cuz if you were eating all those cherries, your lips would be taking on a more red color & then I'd just have to give you a big smooch...but I'd have to get to you before my mom/secretary does, cuz she loves you almost as much as I do...

Anyway..I hope they get that poor badger into some type of self-help addiction & alcoholism is a nasty mix of troubles!

Oh...My mom & dad LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE little Sam from SPCA Saturday...can we get him FED-EXed to us????

Love & Licks,

9:37 AM  
Blogger Dozer and Coop said...

You should be okay until your Mum gets a copy of the police report. I'd be packing my bags if I were you!

Love, Dozer

9:40 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

And that's your story and your sticking to it. Damn the evidence.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Jacks, Narra, Tuchuck, and Rousseau said...

WOOHOO, GO Badgers!!!

10:57 AM  
Blogger Jake of Florida said...

Pawsonally, we don't believe anything we read or hear -- unless it's from our Mom or Dogdad.

Ain't hardly nothing true no more...

We have some bing cherries in the fridge -- if we take them out and let them sit awhile, will we be able to reproduce the same effects?

Plausible deniability -- remember!!!

Jake and Just Harry

11:36 AM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Gussie is soooo funny!

I think there are still some cherries at the top of our tree!

If woo bring a really really REALLY tall ladder woo khould get 'em!


12:38 PM  
Blogger Woodrow, Sweetie, MJ Campanella said...

;) too funny

woodrow sweetie mj

3:01 PM  
Blogger Brownie said...

That is SO funny! BOL! We believe you 1000%, Wally!

3:02 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

Thank you fow clawifying that stowy..I believe youw vewsion.Hope youw head isn't huwting
smoochie kisses

4:08 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

The media lies. Lies I say

5:05 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

uh oh, you might need an aspirin or 3 soon my friend...

8:57 PM  
Blogger Mango said...

Wally, watch out there, you don't want to get a WUI (waddling Under the Influence). Just try not to spin out of control or travel in the wrong lane and you should be fine.


P.S. Wonder how you can tell a drunken sheppy from a "normal" one?

6:35 AM  

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