Don't Badger Me

So this story came through my e-mail today:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said Wednesday. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road -- only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhoea. Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

I have asked my media team to release the following statement:

A spokesperson for Wally T. Corgador categorically denies the veracity of stories that the badger was seen earlier in the evening at a Berlin karaoke bar with a corgador wearing a "Don't Hassle the Hof" t-shirt while both ate fermented cherry pie and sang power ballads. Also the "W" is for Wally, not Wisconsin or Dubya.