Sister Act!

The news said that science has shown that having a sister is GOOD FOR YOU!

Sisters seemed to help siblings avoid negative emotions. Those adolescents with sisters were less likely than those without sisters to indicate feeling lonely, unloved, guilty, self-conscious and fearful. It didn't matter whether the sister was younger or older, or how far apart the siblings were age-wise.

Sisters are indeed indispensible for giving their super-teen brudders home training. Like making crazy eyes at bratty brudders.

And teaching them about REALITY.

It's a SHEP EAT SHEP WORLD.

In which TURNABOUT is FAIR PLAY

And your sister will always KICK YOUR REAR IN THE END!

And then steal your favorite toy! (P.S. Gus, that's the LAME DUCK BUSH from back in 08!)

And then I will be lovey-dovey with the other brudder to make you JELLY!

Screw the city of brudderly love SISTAHS ARE WHERE IT IS AT!

On the Runs

I must apologize for my disheveled appearance.

And my absence from the dog-o-sphere. I have been down.


And out.
With a spot of Montezuma's revenge. Or more like three or four dozen spots, some in our yard, some in the neighbor's yard, one in the basement...you catch my drift (and may even smell it).

I am accepting applications for nurse.


I am also working on blog security. And checking the locks. I don't want any squatters moving in. To let you know how ungrateful those little jerks are. I wanted to show you this:

This is the Gooberstan Offical Fun Fest Birthday Gift Extravaganza. Stan, that ever generous dude, suggested that instead of getting HIM a toy you get a toy for a dog in need. Well, the StanMan is worthy not just of ONE gift but of a whole darn bag. So we put together a bag o' toys and took them to the SPCA. They thank you, Stan!

Every Day is like my Burpday

Today I got a box from Mr. Spartacus Puggle! I was so excited my lights went on!


Back off, sissy! Your name is not on MY box. (Also, as you can see in the background, my sissy cleared the entire coffee table with her tail on the way to check out MY box. Naughty naughty sissy).


The box was FULL of eatables including some PB BISCUITS. I tasted them and enthusiastically approved! Some dried fruitable snacks (which I love and my sissy is indifferent too--yay! That's the best kind of snack. The kind I don't have to share). I also got a Doggy Danish and some BULLY PIECES! Mmmm. Bully chunks. Doesn't that sound tasty?


Sissy likes Bully Chunks.


Wally loves Bully Chunks!


But the best part was GIANT HONKING GORILLA APE! I had one of these a few years ago until my ma ape came home and found him beheaded, un-honked, de-squeakered and unstuffed. She has learned to put my nice toys up while she's gone. (If she's gone too long I get mad and rip up my toys. Seems a little self-defeating but I stand by my strategy). So this ape should last me! HONK!


Look how excited my ears are!


And here I am with the Sparky picture he sent me. I am giving him a big kiss "thank you." THANKS MAN!

Never too hot for prezzies

Sunny

90°F
Feels Like
104°F

This is what The Weather Channel said about our weatherables. And it's 6 p.m. STINKY! This is what I look like melting:


Look at what my sissy has done to the Jolly Ball! She poked holes in it! She should be more careful about her toyables. I was also sad because my ma ape said it might be time to part with my big wiener. No, that's not a euphemism for neutering--I already did that. Nor am I having a bris. The Big Wiener is my big yellow wiener dog toy. I've had him for a year but it was time for him to go after I ripped out his innies.

So my ma ape left. And without me! But she came home with--A Boner! What? Why is everyone giggling? She went to the pet store and they already had Halloweenie toys and one was a SKELETON WEENIE--ooooh, scary!


Here is how I bite the skeleweenie/The Big Boner. I need to get a picture of his funny spooky face.


But the real reason my ma ape went to the PetSmartable was to get my granny a little present--a Petsmart Charities T-shirt with a CORGI on it. Here I am modeling next to it.

And here I am putting a little of myself on the shirtable. A little Wallyfur and dander for you, granny!


I hope I am not ruining the surprise but my granny is in CHICAGO helping my onkel Eric move so maybe she won't see my blogable. And she's, like, even older than my MA APE so maybe she will forget even if she does find out.

My ma ape wanted to bring me home a BIG surprise--a brother from the SPCA! They have a boy Dogue de Bordeaux that my ma ape pines for but the other ape said "NO, BAD MA APE" so I don't have a brotherable, only a Big Boner. It's probably for the best because I am one grumpy old dude. And I like my ma ape's undivided attention.

Stealing Saturday!

LOOK! I am ETHEL and I am STEALING Wally's BLOG and his NEW TOY! This is the JOLLY BALL that he got from his BPP Peeeeeeeeeeeeea-nut!


Mine mine mine!


It takes a TUFF GIRL to handle a JOLLY BALL!


I am the JOCK in the family. I am watching SOCCER on on Fox Soccer Channel PREVIEW and playing JOLLYBALLY!


What should I STEAL from WALLY next? I might STEAL his BFF Peanut cuz he sends COOL STUFF. And he his my BFF PENNY's BOYFRIEND. Peanut! We could be FRIENDS! We both like JOLLYBALLIES and PENNIES!

TOYS! And Wallymelons. And Wallymelon Toys!

By buds Nanook and Pooka recommended that my ma ape break out the plastic and get me a new toy. Specifically, a Booda Wallymelon.

But could our wee protagonist actually convince her to do it???




Duh.


The toy comes in four velcroed bits that tear apart. It has rattles inside (but no rattlesnakes, I've been checking). I am more of a squeaky aficionado but the taking apart bit is fun.


While it is not as scrumptiously juicy as real Wallymelon I can't say the fun is not tasty:


MMmmmrphrphrphrphrmmmprh.


Thanks Nanook and Pooka! Could you recommend a leg of lamb next week!?

For ME?

I wanted to post about something happier than my last post so I thought I'd post about the two greatest things EVER. Food and PRESENTS. And even better, food and presents from my BFF Sherman of Jackman Ave!

Look--here I am upset because my sissy is opening MY box. Her name is NOT Wally Corgador so she is committing a FEDERAL CRIME by opening it.



But then I pulled out the letter from Sherman and Sherman said I DON'T have to share if I don't want to! Look how happy THAT made me! And look how handsome Sherman is in his picture.


But then Sherman said that Penny wants to be Ethel's BFF like Sherman is my BFF. And Ethel doesn't make girl friends often so she and Penny can be BFF. They have a lot in common like being tall and skinny and having long legs and liking to chase things. I hope Ethel does not bite my head, though.

Here Ethel makes a SILLY face while she eats her bully strap from her BFF Penny.


And here I take my bully strap that my BFF sent me. Notice how I don't make a silly face at all. So dignified.


And here I am chewing the bully strap while Toe Mato watches. Sherm sent me the Mater, too! And I don't even have to get in trouble for going into the garden for getting it!


And here is the Deedle Dee rat that makes a LOT of noise when you bite his belly. The ma ape likes when I play with this while she's going to sleep. Sherm said his mom got tired of the noise so she sent it to me! How sweet!


There's more stuff (like DIET snacks that Sherm says are just called diet for our mum's sakes and not cuz we're FAT) that I will show you later. I've gotta go play with my new toys!

The Nanook & Pook' Bonanza!

Today I was harassing the mail carrier, as per usual, when I noticed she had a package with MY NAME on it. Not Ethel's, not the Ma Ape's, not even Wally & Ethel but WALLY THE CORGADOR! That's ME!

I had to investigate.


My pals Nanook and Pooka sent me a package with a bonanza of exciting things! It even had a fish theme with Zuke's Salmon Snacks (drooooooool) and a fish toy like the one Nanook rated a two-slinger this week!


I am doing my excited bug eyes for my Zuke's.


And then I played with the new squeaker which is rated a SEVEN on the toughness scale. I know Nanook sent this to me because I am a TEN on the tuffness scale. I need mighty toys.


Look at THIS face I'm making. Am I played out? Too many Zuke's? Is the smell of the ma ape's toes (in the corner) too much for me?


No! While I was playing look who absconded with the bully stick they sent!


Sigh. Well at least Nanook gave me my new favorite nickname. The CorgaDorian Gray. Does he know my secret? I don't seem to get any older while my ma ape gets more and more grey hairs!

Nanook, you have truly mastered the art of the prezzie.

Thanks guys!

Hedgie Autopsy

The ma ape was gone too long yesterday at "work." Which can only mean one thing--a stuffy must die. My ma ape tries to put up the easily dissected ones and the ones I don't like as much because I'm more likely to attack them.

She came home yesterday to find stuffy innards strewn about the house. She was confused. The stuffies looked fine including my favorite stuffy, Pastel Hedgie. See, he looks fine!


But then she flipped him over! Someone did a perfect buttectomy on him--opening him up at the rear in order to pull out the squeaker before flipping him back over to hide the evidence. Look at the surgical precision!


I have to inspect. Gosh, who could have possibly done this? Clearly only a genius could conceive of and carry out such a perfect crime.


I blame the big ass! Who do YOU think did it?