Never too hot for prezzies

Sunny

90°F
Feels Like
104°F

This is what The Weather Channel said about our weatherables. And it's 6 p.m. STINKY! This is what I look like melting:


Look at what my sissy has done to the Jolly Ball! She poked holes in it! She should be more careful about her toyables. I was also sad because my ma ape said it might be time to part with my big wiener. No, that's not a euphemism for neutering--I already did that. Nor am I having a bris. The Big Wiener is my big yellow wiener dog toy. I've had him for a year but it was time for him to go after I ripped out his innies.

So my ma ape left. And without me! But she came home with--A Boner! What? Why is everyone giggling? She went to the pet store and they already had Halloweenie toys and one was a SKELETON WEENIE--ooooh, scary!


Here is how I bite the skeleweenie/The Big Boner. I need to get a picture of his funny spooky face.


But the real reason my ma ape went to the PetSmartable was to get my granny a little present--a Petsmart Charities T-shirt with a CORGI on it. Here I am modeling next to it.

And here I am putting a little of myself on the shirtable. A little Wallyfur and dander for you, granny!


I hope I am not ruining the surprise but my granny is in CHICAGO helping my onkel Eric move so maybe she won't see my blogable. And she's, like, even older than my MA APE so maybe she will forget even if she does find out.

My ma ape wanted to bring me home a BIG surprise--a brother from the SPCA! They have a boy Dogue de Bordeaux that my ma ape pines for but the other ape said "NO, BAD MA APE" so I don't have a brotherable, only a Big Boner. It's probably for the best because I am one grumpy old dude. And I like my ma ape's undivided attention.

I wanna be like Sherman

Some days I wanna be like Ike because, really, who doesn't! But I also wanna be like my friend Sherman. He's one of the Dogs of Jackman Ave and I wanna be like him because it wouldn't be much work. I'm ALREADY like Sherman. We're both very compact, we have sometimes annoying and mean sissies, we have girlfriends in the Brat Pack, and we are loveable galoots.

Here's Sherman with his toys. I like toys too!


Here's Sherman eating. I like eating too!


Here I am trying to eat like Sherman, I'm showing my teeth! Aren't we both ferocious!


And slipping a little tongue.


And Sherman recommended the Furminator to make us prettier.


So WE got a Shermanator, too! This is a pile of sissy. She lost about half her weight getting brushed. I'm a little Shermanator shy because I'm afraid of brushes with handles but I have contributed my own little piles.


Wally and Sherman BFF!

(P.S. I'm sorry I made fun of Pittsburgh. I didn't mean it. And look! We have a Steelers Furminator!)