Losing a Friend

We have not blogged in a very long time except on our tumblr and we wish we were not brought back by sad news. We were sad yesterday to learn that our friend Sam has crossed the Bridge.  

Sam was one of our first blogging friends--she has her own tag on our bloggy!--and she was Wally's #1 girlfriend.  As you can see, they had a lot in common.

Plus, while neither of them was the biggest dog in their packs in body, they were still the biggest dogs in their pack, if you know what we mean.  

Sam's person shared what Sam had for her last meal:  a 4-egg cheese omelet, 8 strips of turkey bacon, a chicken breast, several pieces of beef jerky, a heap of liver treats and an entire container of Cool Whip.  That's our girl! Never live life halfway!  

Thanks for being our friend, Sam.  We miss you.

How to Clean a Skunky Monkey

This morning while we were on walkies my ma ape let us off leash at a park where there was no one there. No one but a wee skunk. So after scouring the internets and finding some useful sites about dealing with skunkies I thought I'd share my corgador wisdom. Here's how to clean a skunky monkey:

1. Find a skunky monkey. This should not be hard even if you do not have a dog's refined sense of smell because you can smell them from about a mile away. You can probably smell Ethel through this photo. I had expected a putrid smell but it's really more like a tire fire. Mmmm...burnin' rubber.

2. Make a mixture of one bottle of hydrogen peroxide, a quarter of a cup of baking soda, and add a little dish soap.

3. Rub it thoroughly into the fur and let it sit for a few minutes. Rinse. Repeat as needed.


4. Enjoy being the only monkey that is not skunky and thus gets all the pets attention AND gets on the furniture.

5. Deflect rumors that this was all an agreement between me and another black and white beastie to hog all the attention. Also deny that this is a suggestion for one Ms. Samantha who is feeling neglected. (P.S. Sam--those skunkies are stinky enough I'm sure one could douse all of them.)

GRUMPY

I am not a happy dog:

1) the ma ape misplaced her camera and did not charge the battery so there are no new Wallyphotos.
2) My FORMER Eagles signed Michael Vick to a multimillion dollar deal. Grrrrr.
3) I had to eat kibble for breakfast.

But there is a ray of light. The Brat Pack's mom posted the most beautiful thing in the world.

Can I clean your ears, Sam?

Lookin' For Love

MSNBC has a story up about doggie dating websites.

Leo is affectionate, likes stuffed toys, eats fish and is a hit with ladies looking for love on online. Not bad, for a 3-year-old Golden Retriever.

Leo is just one of hundreds of dogs being signed up to a crop of dog dating Web sites in India by doting owners seeking a mate or a companion for their pet.

Some of us have no problem finding beautiful ladies online. Several, even.

There's no point to this. Except to remind you what a hottie I am.

Here is the song "Too Darn Hot." Is it about me or the weather?

A Very Important Day

Today is the burpday of the most beautiful girl in the world! MY LADY SAM! HAPPY BURPDAY, LADY!



I wanted to play our song:



I like bas-sets and I cannot lie! You other doggies can't deny! When Sam walks in with her wrinkly skin you get SPRUNG!

And here's a little kiss:

HAPPY VD!

SPCA Saturday has been delayed to celebrate the DAY OF LOVE! Oh yes. And I made a very special card to celebrate the day!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oscar thought if we covered his eyes you wouldn't know it is him. HAHA! And now here is a little interlude to celebrate a very special love:




And here is the couple I am dedicating this song to (two!)--the PEPPY SHEPPYS! Because it used to take only one sheppy but now it takes TWO!



And now here is a little something special for all of my special loves. Sam, Sophie, Randi, the Corgi Girls, MJ, Lola, Narra, Stan, Stella, Sherman (I seem to have a thing for the letter S) you all know I love you so! Here is a little work of art dedicated just to YOU!



And here is a little song just for you (the plural you):



Ain't we got love????

Happy Burpday GRAN-NE!

Today is my Gran-NE's burpday and I think she must be about 30 or so because she doesn't look a day over 25. (And I'm not just saying that because she's going to come visit me soon to bring me OMAHA STEAKS).

I would like to give a visit from this gent to my Gran-NE but that Obama fellow said he is a bit busy right now so I'm just going to give her an Obama Presidency!

You see, my Gran-NE is a committed paw-litical activist. When my ma ape was born my Gran-NE campaigned for the Democrats with paw-litical pamphlets tucked into my ma ape's stroller. This year she helped lead the Democrats Cow-caus in NE-braska. Go Gran-NE!

And now here's a little something for you Gran-NE! It is best if you sing the Jaws music with this.

Nuh-nuh.


Nuh-Nuh!
Nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh...


NUH-NUH, NUH-NUH, NUH-NUH...

NUH!!!!!!NUH!!!!!!!

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!

Have a great one, Gran-NE! Raise a snooty ale for me!

Planet of the AAAAAPES!

It's finally here! The MONKEY BOX REPORT! My ma ape sometimes calls us the monkey house because sometimes my baby brudder howls like a monkey. And yesterday--our house got FOUR NEW APES. Fortunately not naked apes!

It all began with a big surprise. A box at the door! From Oregon! And that means...BIG FOOT! No, that means GRAMMIE!

The box was taller than me so I let Oscar Bean open it up.

AND LOOK WHAT WAS INSIDE! AAAAAPES! There is a gorilla, a white gorilla, an orangetang and a chimp/naked ape hybrid (that must be why it is pink and wearing a t-shirt right?)

My brudder thought he could share. He could not.

The apes are WALLY'S DOMINION!

I piled up all the apes in the room and and tested them all out. And when my ma ape tried to use the gorilla for a pilla, I stole it back!

And look what else I found in the box! MARIONBERRIES.

And the note said that there was something in the box for the ma ape. And the ma ape was so excited because she does love her some marionberries, especially on her ice creams.

But she was clearly mistaken. I think this is what Grammie and Moco sent for her:

Thank you Grammie and Moco and Dawson and Foley and Edgar and Clara and Pappy! I'm the luckiest dog in the world. And I can't wait to take more pictures of me and my ape crew by the harsh light of day!

I'm a WEEEEEEEEEEEENER!

Do you see me dancing a jig of happiness!
Joy!
Ohmydog I can't believe it!

I won a raffle over at Sam's place! That makes me a weeeeeener! I would not like to thank anyone but myself because, let's face it, I'm pretty awesome.

I'm hoping Sam can sneak into the box and mail herself to me. Oh that would be the sweetest gift of all!

The Casanovador

Tonight I am watching a show on Nature called "What Females Want."


I. Will. Be. Unstoppable.

My heart's aflutter!

This little dude is trying to close his eyes....


Get out all the yawns...


And drift off into dreamland to dream about...

A little slice of heaven he saw a glimpse of on the internets today...



Oh Sam, must you and your ice cream be so beguiling?

Fierce in the Hood!

Last night my ma ape came home to find a Petit Paquet on our front steps. It came par avion-- Aire Dale! Oh I was so excited, but confused. Wallypalooza has been eclipsed by JOEYPALOOZA (Happy Burpday Dude!). But inside I found TWO cards and a present!


The card on the left, with my ma ape on it, is a burpday card. And on the right is a Paddy's Day card! And who is sending Petit Wally Petit Paquets?

SOPHIE B in the HOUSE!

And the present was a Paddy's Day present! How did she even know I am IRISH! Is it my support for O'Bama? My Guinness guzzling? My love of Roddy Doyle books? My anger at the British that comes out only after my second pint? My wicked good Irish dancing? Well, here I am in all my glory in my NEW Paddy's Day hoodie.


But wait! That's not even the best angle--SEE! (Warning: HBO language ahead).


BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Do you see how it fits me PERFECTLY, with legs ending exactly at my ankles, and hugging my curves while revealing my best asset (le bum!) An outfit this fierce deserves multiple angles so you can see the perfect fit, the fine workmanship and the fact that for some reason I snaggle a lot while wearing it:


I think it could definitely work to harden my image:


Thank you Sophie! Kiss me, I'm Irish!


Sophie, you will never be OUT!

In the Doghouse with the Shermanator

I'm in really big trouble with my buddy Sherman, my BFF and one of my oldest bromances. See, in my last post I promised smooches with a few in reserve for some of my hottie girlfriends and my special gents. But I forgot Sherman. Oh man did I hear it from him! But I have a reputation to uphold in terms of my milkshake bringing all the boys to the yard so I've gotta really turn on the Wally charms here to win back my Sherms. So everyone else avert your eyes, this involves groveling.

See, Sherman, I'm begging:



On my knees even.


I'm ready to give you that smooch--eyes closed, mouth open.


(That means with tongue, dude).


And, if you need more enticement, a little centerfold shot:


And my best side.


Sherman, chicken backs just wouldn't be the same without you. I mean, I'd still eat 'em and all but they wouldn't taste as good.