A Random Assortment of Funny Pictures

Here is a Monday pick-me-up of funny pictures from our weekend.


Bam! Look! My sissy just plowed me over! (Actually I'm just getting up from a nice roll in something. Probably something stinky and gross).


In the spirit of Nanook, here is some floofer flingin', Wally style!


And here my big ass watches me stretch out my green wiener! The ape thinks it's even funnier when the ape at the other end lets go and the wiener dog's butt springs back to hit me in the face and I fall over. I'm not amused!

I've got a big ass!

Look what I got for my sissy's burpday! My ma ape saw this donkey stuffy and knew that it had to be mine! If you bite him in the belly he makes a honking/braying sound (video coming soon!). And if you bite him in the limbs or the nose he makes regular squeaky sounds.

He has a big head just like me!


I can lift him up for the body slam aaaaaand.....


Ka-blam! He's down for the count!


He tastes like chicken.


Butt I love my ass and I give him kissies after kicking his bum.

Eatin' some 'Paws

Yeah! For my sissy's buprday we got some homemade Frosty Paws, Nanook style! They were made of frozen yogurt, PB, banana, wallymelon, egg, flax seed, and some raw honey. Here's how we feel about it:


I wasn't trying to steal my sissy's paw, I swear! Innocent until proven guilty!


Here I am giving a taste test:


Evaluation: taaaaaaaaasty.

Burpday Extravaganza!

For my sissy's burpday we went to the pretty park that we don't get to go to very often. She played camera shy and hid from the puperazzi but I am camera ready!


Here's my sissy posing for her burpday portrait looking like a big ol' Doofus.


She was scared of the moving water but stopped for a stiff drink.


Here we are on the trail. I'm trying to tell her where to go. She's ignoring me.


We played fetch. Look at her tongue do things no tongue was meant to do.


Wally on the rocks!


Rolling Rock!


Havin' a little drink, ready to go home.

Sissy Burpday! (Observed)

It's my sissy's burpday! Since her real burpday is on a Monday and Mondays stink because for some reason our burpdays are not yet national holidays so the slave apes apes have to work we are celebrating this weekend! I adopted my sissy two years ago from a shelter in Maryland where they were suspiciously enthusiastic about unloading her (she had been returned from an adoption once before so I think they were worried). So we have to celebrate in style.

Yesterday I had to put together a list of things for the apes to get for my sissy for her burpday. Top of the list, of course, is my grinning mug! She should probably have a big framed picture of me she can gaze at whenever she wants.


And I told them to get some gift wrap to wrap her not so secret admirer MaxyV.


And then I told them to get her a whole bag of her favorite thing--tennis balls!


And then they went to Happy Dog, Healthy Dog, the fancy shmancy doggie store and got us loads of treats like liver pate, and liver snackies, and mumpkin flax cookies and.....

RABBIT! Mmmmm...Aunt Jeni's rabbit! Not food FOR rabbits but food OF rabbits. It comes highly recommended from my friends Buko, Narra and Jacks. Here's what it looks like!


It's green because they mix it with the fruits and vegetables and parsley and whatnot (so dogs like my picky sissy won't notice they're eating their veggies).


It may not look good but it smelled and tasted FAN-TAS-TIC. It was so good we BOTH begged for it. Even my sissy who is nonchalant about food. This is what we did as soon as the ma ape opened the container. There is a video of me making some embarassing sounds. I'm in negotiations for rights so it won't get posted on the Internets. We'll see. We couldn't wait until today to eat it so we had a rabbit dinner last night.

Today my sissy gets to open her tennis balls and we go to the park to play and we get MORE SNACKS! I saw the ma ape making Nanook Paws for us to have later when it is HOT. Just to clarify, Nanook Paws are doggie ice cream using Nanook's recipe. We're not actually eating Nanook, though we wish he was here to celebrate with us! We could compare fluffy butts! And I could share some tips on how to be the Perfect Big Brother. (The key--burpday presents you can share!)

Hey! Queen Liz!

The Queen is in the States had has not requested an audience with The Wally??!? What's up with that? Well, since I am sure she is an avid reader of my blog I wanted to share the following:

1) Did you bring the corgis? And if so--let my people go! We're dogs of the people. And while we are appropriately overlords of the ape world it is because of our amazing intelligence and talent and not because we belong to a (slightly inbred) bloodline.

2) I see you are being escorted by the Cheneys. Whatever you do DON'T GO HUNTING.

3. How did you come to the U.S. without giving a lift to my pal Marvin who has been working hard to get to Kansas to join the Army of Four. Aren't you there to serve your people??? I know he is a proud Scottish lad but you do your share of squatting in the Scottish countryside--give a dog a break!

How to Eat a Frosty Paw

As the weather has gotten warmer here has been much discussion of Frosty Paws, including by Sophie La Brador who has never even had one (what, are you from Canada or something?). So I thought I would give a lesson on How To Eat Frosty Paws (the key: as fast as possible).



And don't forget to pop over to Nanook's blog. He posted a recipe for Frosty Paws that sounds DELICIOUS, especially since actual FPs are ridiculously expensive (more than ape ice cream!)

The Dog Responds

I would like to deliver the doggie's response to the Republican debates last night. In my message you will hear my platform on the situation in Darfur, a brief discussion of Heidegger's analysis of the hand, and my most important statement "GIMME THAT FROSTY PAW!"

A Dog's Life

I couldn't blog yesterday because I had so many things I HAD to do. I'm one busy dude. Here are some of the things I do when I am not blogging or chatting.

I gave myself a bath.


I maxed and relaxed in the grass.


I made terrifying faces (and played tug with a stick).


I chased my sissy!


We dined al fresco.

Someone says our meaty bones are too stinky to eat in the house. Whatever. I would totally buy meaty smell air fresheners. Except then I'd be drooling all the time.


I did not watch the Republicans debate because I have more important things to do like peeing on things and sleeping. Also, your ape politics will be rendered meaningless after the corgador/chimp uprising.

April Showers Bring May Flowers

Look, I'm gardening.

Mission Still Accomplished

Remember this? Four years ago today. Thank goodness that business is behind us, eh?

Talking Heads

My ma ape spends some of her day giving boring lectures. Here I am pretending I am my ma ape pontificating on whatever boring thing she is yammering about. Can you dogs tell what I'm saying?

Dancing Queen

Maggie just reminded me I forgot the most important part of my exercise routine. RRRRRRRRUMPSHAKIN'!

No Mere Mortal!

Blood tests back and according to the vet I "had the results of a 2-year old dog." It's like that movie Cocoon where the old people going swimming in the pool with alien pods and have their youthful vigor returned. Except I don't swim that much. Or know any aliens. Ok, really it's nothing like the movie but I am one awesome old man!

My pal Peanut asked the secret to my success so I'll share some of it. For my ticker I don't take any prescription meds. I DO take some supplements:

Vetri-Science Cardio-Strength (2x daily)
Vetri-Science CoEnzyme Q10
Hawthorne

I ALSO have some arfritis problems including spondylosis in my spine which is overgrowth of bony tissue that can lead to fusion of the vertebrae. This is not uncommon in long-backed dogs.

So I also take Dog Gone Pain. I might also start some Fido Wobenzyme on the recommendation of Miss Sunshade. My back isn't SO bad. I had a bad episode once and I have to do some stretchin' in the morning but I'm doing pretty well, joints-wise.


Here is my workout regime:

7/8 hours per day Napping
6/7 hours sleep at night
1+hours walking with regular marking (vary leg raised to avoid muscle imbalance)
1+ hour begging from the apes for food and attention (should include warm-up of sad eyes and plenty of ab work sucking in the belly to look skinnier)
30 minutes rampaging (circuit training including stuffy work [pouncing and shaking])
15 minutes WWFing (ie, rasslin' with sissy)
1 hour/day sunning my belly
1 hour/day blogging
1-2 minutes eating (chewing optional)
30 minutes bully chewing
30 minutes barking at neighbor, neighbor's dog, mail carrier, and random passersby

The most important secret: Loads and loads of spoiling.