A Tale of Two Brudders

Ordinarily I love my brudder very very much but today we are MORTAL ENEMIES!

Fighting for SUPREMACY!



Why? Because there is a little footie match going on today. A storied rivalry!!


And I am a shepherd!


A GERMAN shepherd!



And Otis is separated at birth from ENGLAND star Wayne Rooney (who is much more attractive as a dog.)



WHO WILL WIN THE BIG GAME???

Clearing the Air

I would like to defend my good name. Now, while I did have a case of room-clearing flatulence yesterday my sissy DOCTORED the photo to make it look like a gas cloud had drifted out. They happened to be silent (and invisible) but deadly, thank you very much. SHE stuck her nose there--what did she expect?

And, just a reminder. My sissy is one crazy bitch:




Which of these faces would YOU trust?


What kind of a dog could be mean to this?

Beauty AND truth

I always get so many comments about how PRETTY my sissy is. Oooh her long legs and big stinkin' nose. So here's a comparison, a beauty pageant if you will.

Here's my supposedly guapissima sissy:


And me. Can't you just see the wisdom in my eyes? Plus a profile that makes George Clooney green with envy.


It's all about the eyes.

Under the weather

Or over this weather, perhaps. This morning after my regularly scheduled walk in the wee hours of the morning, I felt a bit poorly. In the middle of my breakfast I had to beat a hasty retreat. There was some barf. And while I was in the other room, barfing, my sissy snuck over to my bowl and ate my leftover tripe. So much for sweet lil' sissy. Kick a dog while he's barfing. The suspected culprit is possible overheating or drinking my water too fast.

After a brief layabout, I played with my Big Ass and have kept down a frosty paw. I still want sympathy.

Slipping Some Tongue

My sissy has a very undignified tongue. It is always flopping around the place like she's got a flounder in her mouth.


Even when she's just sitting still it flops out and makes her look, well, doofus-y. Now, the problem is not the tongue per se, but in how she is using it. I thought she could use a lesson in proper tongue wagging.


Here is Ike, the master of The Tongue. He demonstrates his patented push-out tongue maneuver. See the way he becomes one with the protruding tongue? He owns the tongue, not the tongue owning him.


Tofu Burger here demonstrates a gentle downward facing tongue, a difficult move achievable only by a true tongue master.


And Wally, with a swift but controlled curl upward.


Ethel, get your tongue sorted!

Sniff.

My sissy is mean.

Photographic evidence:


At least Peanut's got my back.

Clearing the Air

So my sissy thinks she can hijack my blog. Whatever. I hijacked her breakfast bowl this morning and finished her egg. Take THAT sissy. And, also, later today I will steal your ball and sleep on top of it so you can't play. Also, look, my butt is prettier than yours.

And just to clarify. Yes, I have a little fear of the thunder. What really happened was we were watching Pan's Labyrinth and I'm really afraid of fascists.

Sibling Love

My ma ape gets all bleary-eyed about this ad. This will be what it's like when I get my mini-me, Onyx the corgador (see below)! Except I'll share my big ass (and I don't mean my sissy!) The boys will Rule the Roost!

Petsmart commercial

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New Sibs

Look! My pal Nanook has a new baby brother named Pooka! (or Poo as I call him for short). Since that face is infinitely smoochable I was a bit worried for my pal since new babies are always popular and I was afraid he might not get his share of belly scritches. But then I remembered what Nanook looks like and I'm not worried for him.

Here's Pooka!


He reminds me of someone I know (I might be thinking about eating the puppy here, I won't say):


Here I am hiding under a chair (because it is raining) and thinking about maybe having a new sibling. On the one hand I like being the center of attention (especially of the ma ape) but on the other hand I need a sibling on which I can pin my doggy indiscretions (counter surfing? must be the new guy) and who could help me run the household efficiently (dude--get me some snacks!)


So I'm trying to be on my best behavior so I can get a little servant pup (or monkey butler, I'm still not certain which I'd prefer) and I'm trying to show I can be responsible. here I am taking care of my favorite stuffy, pastel hedgie (from Joe Stains!)


I have a funny habit--whenever it rains I try to take pastel hedgie outside. I'm a good brother who recognizes when his pals need a shower because they stink. Not that anything that spends a long time in my mouth could possibly smell bad.


And here I am giving sissy kisses. You may notice that my teeth are out in my kisses but it's pure sweetness, I swear (fortunately there is no audio of the growlin' or video of us chasing each other around the living room like tasmanian devils). They're kisses. That happen to involve teeth and chasing.