birthday bash!

dudes!!! wally took away my caps lock key so you will have to trust that i am shouting! shouting! shouting! excited about my buuuuuuurpday.

look i got a booooone.


and do you see my pretty pretty new collar? it makes me even more superduper pretty. don't you think, don't you think? (hi pippa! hi tuchuck! hi maxyv! hi bear!)


look! wally looks stoooopid!


and i got to go to the field field field. i wanted to cover wallywally in tennis ball fuzz and roll him around but he said no no no.


loook i am 2fast 2furious for the camera! woooooooooooo!

and i took a boudoir photo of wallywally in my new bed! he got a new bed for being a crybaby so i got a new bed for being so so good but i sleep in the one that i tore the bottom out of anyway. haha!

happy burpday toooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

BUUURPDAY!

Yo K9s! It's my BURPDAY and thAT MEANS this BLOG is MINE ALL D*&N DAY! I am GOING to BLOW UP the INTERWEBS!

One More Post!

Ok, I have to post one more time because my granny with an N is having surgery tomorrow. I thought she was getting spayed (don't want another mistake like my ma ape!) but she's having cat-racks removed from her eyes or something. I don't blame her. Cats in the eyes are no good. But in case she never sees again I know this is the last thing she would want to see:

This is moments before we bump heads because, you know, our eyesight is not so good.

Get well soon granny and milk it for all the sympathy, snacks, and belly rubs you can get!

Birthday Surprise!

OK, my last post was totes depressing so I thought I'd lighten things up by letting you know about preparations for ETHEL'S BURPDAY! She's going to be like three (or at least I rescued her three years ago which is--obviously--when her life began).

First, here is one of the WONDERFUL gifts that I got for my sissy. You can see from the look on her face how excited she is.


But who wouldn't be excited seeing this face coming at them??


So obviously I am the greatest gift she is getting for her burpday:


But more on things that money CAN buy that I got for her TOMORROW.

The Apes Strike Again

I blog a lot about myself and a lot about dogs. And I also blog a lot about the naked apes, mostly my exasperation with them. And I admit I'm having a bit of a tiff with the apes right now. I'm very sad about the Kentucky Derby and Eight Belles (left above), the horse who ran herself to death, like many horses do. Though we should be clear, she ran for her apes and was rewarded with a second place and a death on the track. I know you apes have a lot of responsibility, fancying yourself the top of the food chain and having reason and all that. I just wish you'd take it a little more seriously sometimes.

From the NYT:

There were 15 horses at 39 North American tracks who failed to finish a race Saturday. Nine of them were reported to have been so injured or unsound that they had to be vanned off the track in an equine ambulance. Although the official result charts published online by Daily Racing Form do not provide any veterinary commentary beyond “broke down,” “pulled up,” or “went wrong,” a gut feeling based on racetrack experience leads me to presume that some of those stricken animals met the same beyond-hope fate as Eight Belles, and required euthanasia.

SPCA Saturday

Yeah, I know it's not Saturday but here's some of the dogs that my ma ape played with at the SPCA. If you are in Delaware, Maryland, Pennsylvania or New Jersey ADOPT ONE so that my ma ape does not try to bring them to my house!

OK, I'll start with the little stinky:

Roxy is a few month old baby who loves to romp, fetch and love on peeps. She is already spayed and ready to love on peeps in a new home.

Patches is a nice lady who also likes to play and have her butt rubbed:


This one is Diamond who is on my ma ape's belly. He is a firebrand who likes to play chase (he is the chaser) and craves attention.


And you remember Lizzy Tizzy! It looks like we dropped my sissy at the SPCA (and put on some socks!):


But THIS is what I'm worried about. His name is Brody and he was found in an abandoned house but my ma ape calls him BO (for Bo Pelini, Nebraska coach). He is stocky with a big wrinkly head!!!


My ma ape is powerless before his jowls:


He's just a baby--maybe 5-6 months old?--and loves to play and romp but also wants lots of lovin'.

A Week in Presents!

So here's the deal--next Wednesday is my sissy's burpday so I've been stocking up on presents for her. I tried to take my ma ape's ECONOMIC STIMULUS TAX REFUND CHECK to the store to buy my sissy dozens of monkey sticks but apparently my paw is not an adequate substitute for my ma ape's signature--whatev.

Anyway, we've gotten a bunch of stuff in the mail-and not even for ME or my SISSY!!??? What the? Who would send my APES presents?

First, my rabbit friend Finlay's owns an ape who helps other people sell books and she sent my ma ape some books! Including this one!


My ma ape decided to try to rule the world and made Buko Cupcakes (Coconut/Lime) and Cookies & Creme Cupcakes and we agreed that these cupcakes WOULD do a better job of ruling than our current President. And also they taste better.


And then--THEN--we got a bright green package that our mail carrier puzzled over for some time because it was addressed to "The Ma Ape of Wally T. Corgador." The mail lady is quite often bemused by the assortment of mail items addressed to me but this one made her laugh out loud. And we opened it and it was from GOOBERSTAN! For my MA APE! He must be moving in on her. Well, there's plenty of her to share, buddy. Goober sent me a fish for smooching (photos to come later) and also was so thoughtful and knew that my ma ape was a vegan so he sent her TAFFY! Texas Taffy! My ma ape decided to share it with us.


And even though Stan said I *could* (not *should*) share with sissy, I did.


And I did enjoy it, StanMan. Here I am pretending to eat it with YOU, big guy:


But the piece de resistance from GooberStan was a Colbert for President T-shirt! I tried it on but I prefer shirts that allow me to show off my figure, especially my ripped abs, so I let my ma ape have it. Here she is thinking she's funny.


Thanks Finlay and GooberStan! (And also to your apes.)

Fame!

So my friend Gus did this quiz where he found out that if he were a famous person he would be AL GORE. I was very surprised to hear my results. Turns out I am:




Dogster must have sensed my way with the ladies (and the gents) and thus gave me George Clooney. I was relieved because once I found out that one of the celebrities you could be was Amy Winehouse I thought she was a shoo-in for my celebrity doppleganger. Well, my sissy is:



I think it's just cuz they both are fitness fanatics. And also my sissy pretends to have a British accent (and a career---ZING!)

I still think I'm one beehive away from Amy Winehouse because man do I have the pipes for the blues.

The Corganova at work.

Yes, I have been AWOL for several days, deep in thought as you can see:

I've been trying to think of how to help all of my friends who have asked for help in the romance/seduction front. As you can see, with a face like this I don't need much help:

I have come up with what I think is a foolproof plan. I am going to make Wally suits out of the fur from the furminator! This is hair that my ma ape brushed out of my BUM (I like to protect my ass-ets!)


To give you a sense of how much fur this is--here's the pile of fur relative to me. While it may take some time to make, say, a Mango-sized Wally suit, a few more sessions with the furminator should do it. As my ma ape likes to say, my fur production defies all law of mass and matter:


So I have many things to update you on this weekend including 1) news from RANDI about National Wallymelon Month 2) a certain GooberStan working on his charm with the ladies by sending my ma ape a package!!!!!! (she has been won over) and 3) a death in the stuffy family:


Lest you spend your entire Friday worrying, no monkey sticks were killed in the making of this photo. Maimed, perhaps, but not destroyed. Now--I have some blogs to read!