Wall-O-Ween Preparations

The holiest day of the year in our house is fast approaching! Wall-O-Ween! No, we are not witches. (Nor are we Christine O'Donnell). We just like dressing up in costumes and getting candy! I have been working hard on my costume and this morning I tried on my mask. Watch!

Here I am being my usual handsome self. Nice teeths and wicked sweet smile, eh?

Oooh, snaggle the teeth a bit, squish the eyes.

OK, slack the jaw and wonk that eye!

Aaaaand...it's Igor from Young Frankenstein!

And who will be the lumbering, awkward, moaning monster???

Now to work on his dance moves:

Wall-O-Ween!

Yesterday was one of the greaterest holidays--Wall-O-Ween! Dedicated to being scary and begging for snacks. That's like a regular day for me. Here are some things that happened at my house.

My GranNE sent us a punkin carving pattern for a Jack Bo Lantern. That's Bo Pelini, coach of the Huskers!


And our yard was totally spooky. It scared some little kids, in fact. And that was before me n' my sibs shouted at them!

And then a mob ran through our neighborhood with pitchforks and torches. Um, I don't know.

And then my ma ape went to the SPCA and OMD LOOK AT THESE SCARY THINGS!!??!?!


And my ma ape had an inflatable black cat. Really? Am I supposed to be scared of this thing? Who would be stupid enough for that?

Oh right.

And then? Mmmm. Candy. Not for dogs. We had bones!

And then my ape turned into a zombie.


So I ate her brains before she could eat mine.

And then it got REALLY scary when the World Series started and the Yankees won! NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Oh the humanity!

Help us out, Vice President! Unless that is Zombie Joe Biden! Oh no! (Zombie Joe Biden, please eat A Rod)

More Wall-O-Ween!!!

My first costume is so horrifying, so terrible, that hair has been known to turn white in this beast's presence, women faint from disgust and terror, and small children run screaming in fear so you have been warned:



Oh yes, I am dressed as The Bloviator, at his most charming in this clip:



OK, I am scaring myself a little bit so maybe I'd better try some others. Here I am Corgador Attacked by WeirdWolf:

And here, via the trickeration of photography (or, rather, my ma ape's general incompetence): GHOST DOGS!!!! Oooooooh!

Ghost Dog is also the name of a Jim Jarmusch film and I'm pretty sure that Forest Whitaker (below) will play me in the movie of my life.


OK, now is not the time to cast my biopic, I have a Wall-O-Ween to prepare for. More photos coming soon. If you have any costume ideas let me know.

The Dog of Many Faces

It's WALLOWEEN! I love it. It involves candy, begging, and wearing funny costumes! I've been dressing up all day in some of my favorites.

Bat Boy!


Stuffy Serial Killer.


Sissy and I played TASMANIAN DEVILS!


Sissy is QUASIMODO! Look at that Hunchback!


And I watched The Exorcist and here I am POSSESSED WALLY.


Look how scared my sissy is! Wait 'til I puke pea soup on her.


My granny (that's granny with an N for "from Nebraska) calls me CUJO. Not because I am a rabid St. Bernard but because What Wally Wants, Wally Gets. So for the rest of the evening I am CUJO. Don't try to take MY candy, kiddies!

Walloween Tails

My granny sent me two spooooooky stories to share for Walloween. The best part? They are TRUE. Be afraid, apes, be very afraid (four legs gooooooooooood, two legs in trouble!):

1. The Dick Cheney of Dogs:

A man out hunting in Iowa was shot in the leg after a hunting dog stepped on his gun, authorities said.

The accident happened after James Harris, 37, put his gun on the ground to retrieve a fallen pheasant.

One of a pack of hunting dogs following behind stepped on the trigger, and up to 120 birdshot pellets hit Mr Harris in the left calf at short range.

2. Killer Cows in Sussex:

A Sussex policeman has been discharged from hospital after an attack by about 50 cows left him with four broken ribs and a punctured lung.

Insp Chris Poole, 50, said the cattle repeatedly butted and stamped on him when he was out walking his dog on the South Downs earlier this month.

The officer, from Brighton, said he was crossing a field along a footpath.

One cow butted him in the back, forcing him to the ground, before the others joined in, he recalled.

Look out naked apes!

Walloween Rehearsal

I was torn on my Walloween costume on whether to be a werewolf (run around in my usual fur suit howling) or a soccer player (run around with a soccer ball in my mouth.) So, my girl Friday, Ms. Sophie Loveador, suggested I do both and be a werewolf with big balls.

Great idea Soph! So here I am working on my werewolf face...


Are you scared? Gooberstan, if you need someone to scare your new sissy straight, I'm your man.

And here the wolf takes on the ball.


Nothing more terrifying than a werewolf savaging a pink ball.




Balls WERE harmed in the making of this picture.


I vant to bite your balls!


What??? Quit giggling, I'm being menacing.

And yes, that full moon in the background IS my sissy.