More Burpdays!

 We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post (we didn't actually have anything scheduled, though we are regular) to bring you a special burpday from Edgrr.

Happy (day late) burpday to my fellow short legger Ernest Puppy who is FIVE YEARS YOUNG today!  May you have all the pasta and squashes and other noms you can fit in your gob!

P.S. For your burpday we are sending you our ma ape (in a month or so). Please return her.  If you wish to sneak into her luggage and move East that's cool too.

How Perfection is Created

Look what I found on the internets! From genome.gov:

Researchers Discover Evolutionary Event Underlying the Origin of Dachshunds, Other Dogs With Short Legs

This is great news since it gives hope to all you dogs with horribly deformed long legs that perhaps someday we will find a cure for gangly limbs and save future generations from your meaningless, tall existences:

Bethesda, Md., Thurs., July 16, 2009 — A single evolutionary event appears to explain the short, curved legs that characterize all of today's dachshunds, corgis, basset hounds and at least 16 other breeds of dogs, a team led by the National Human Genome Research Institute (NHGRI), part of the National Institutes of Health, reported today. In addition to what it reveals about short-legged dogs, the unexpected discovery provides new clues about how physical differences may arise within species and suggests new approaches to understanding a form of human dwarfism.

In a study published in the advance online edition of the journal Science, the researchers led by NHGRI's Elaine Ostrander, Ph.D., examined DNA samples from 835 dogs, including 95 with short legs. Their survey of more than 40,000 markers of DNA variation uncovered a genetic signature exclusive to short-legged breeds. Through follow-up DNA sequencing and computational analyses, the researchers determined the dogs' disproportionately short limbs can be traced to one mutational event in the canine genome - a DNA insertion - that occurred early in the evolution of domestic dogs.

Together Sam and I could create a species of SUPERDOGS! They will just be giant heads and pot bellies with feet! Scienterrific!

Im-pre-poster-ous!

Some of you may have noticed in my previous post that I have an IMPOSTER! Yes, this dude Andy who thinks he can BE ME! Well, I feel bad for him because he is not me and that must be hard. He's a Bullbador (American bulldog + Lab) not a Corgador. He's halfway there. But I'm a caring guy and decided to help him out. As you can see I sat down with Husker Gorilla to look for leg shortening tips in Women's Health. But they only had leg lengthening tips like wearing heels and skirts that end above the knee. But where are the leg shortening tips?

I will demonstrate now with my brudder who is embarrassed by his ugly gangly limbs. Stand in the distance to appear shorter. Distract the audience with greens casually attached to your better looking brudder's lips.

Stand in such a manner that your head looks larger than the rest of your body. Or, just have a head that is actually the size of the rest of your body.

Obscure the view of your unseemly long legs by smoking a lot. (Surgeon General's Notice: Dogs actually breathing in cool morning air. No lungs were damaged in the making of this photo. Smoking IS a handy way to stump your growth, though).
Make your legs look shorter by making your tongue look longer.
Your cover, however, will always be blown when you stand next to a dog with perfect squat legs. Therefore you should avoid moving in with a corgador at all costs, it will just make you feel inadequate due to your lengthy stems.

Do you see where I'm going with here, Andy? Don't move in with a corgador!

I hope these tips will help you all achieve the leg stumpitude, or at least the illusion of stumpitude, you have always dreamed of.

R(abblerouse) I(n) P(eace) Dennis Kucinich!

Dennis Kucinich is dropping out of the race. I always liked him because he is short and I had a sneaking suspicion he might choose me as a running mate because I would make him look tall. He also reminds me of my ma ape because she 1) is also diminutive in size 2) is also a vegan 3) keeps lots of things in her pockets.

Here is my favorite video of him on The Colbert Report. We could have made beautiful executive decisions together Dennis!



Peace out Dennis!

Sending Good Vibes to Sam

I read over at the Five Happy Hounds that my girl Samantha is very sick and had to go to the vet last night and today. She has something wrong with her pancreas. I'm very very worried about her (and her poor mum).

Get well soon Samantha! You can share my pancreas if you need it!