Wall-O-Ween Costumes

We have been working on our Wall-O-Ween costumes. Please let us now what you think.

Oscar the Werewolf.

Zombie Wally (this photo has not been altered in any way. I actually made that face.)

And, uh, whatever Ethel is doing here.

What the? Weekend

So my ma ape had a Con For Aunts down in Bawlmer this Saturday so she could not go to the SPCA and I was STOKED because it would mean one weekend without my hussy of a ma ape trolling about town for other dogs. But then she vanished on Sunday and when I looked at her camera I found things that were shocking and appalling.

It's my friend Tuchuck!

He and his sissy Narra were doing agilities like Mango's bro Dexter! Uh, Narra has asked me not to speak of her experience, though Saturday she got BLUE RIBBONS and that's all I'm going to say. And today it was my ma ape's fault that Tuchuck got distracted by her and almost ran off the course at the beginning! See, ma ape, you are not helping so come home!

But there were more shocking things. Corgis!

And their bunny butts!

Those short leggers can jump!

And maybe even fly. (Show offs!)

OMD! Is that OBST?


No, this dog did what he was told with minimal screaming and carrying on.

This girl--a Belgian Sheppy--looked like Ethel with long locks!

This is Garbo the Boo Mastiff!

This was my ma ape's fave.

He's a MangoDog! A (Slightly Less Than) Relentlessly Huge Mastiff! And when he got flustered doing weave poles he decided to take a moment to compose himself and laid down. Good boy! I don't know how he got so far off the ground but I'm working on a theory of Mastiff Gravity that I'm sure will win me another Nobel Prize.


And look what they found right next to where Narra and Tuchuck were chilling! It's the component parts of a corgador or, as I like to call it, Deconstructed Wally!

And the labby would lick lick lick the corgi's back. Just like Oscar cleans my face and ears for me.

So here are some raspberries to you, ma ape for neglecting ME for this fancy agilities dogs though I might forgive you if you give us more cornish hens for breakfast.


Next week my ma ape will be back to her hussy-like ways AND she's going to decorate for her favorite holiday--Wall-O-Ween--so I'll be neglected again. Woe is Wally.

OBST EXPLAINS IT ALL!

Ethel, Wally, don't fight, dudes. It is obvious I AM THE CUTEST IN THE BIG BED!!

For your Reconsideration

For my "friends" who thought Ethel was cuter in the Puff Ball Bed I submit the following evidence for your consideration:


That's what I thought.

On the Origin of Snacks

While I've always maintained that my ma ape might be the evolutionary link between chimps and humans, Sophie alerted me today that scientists have made a new discovery! The oldest human ancestor found to date! And she suggests humans descended from even OLDER species of apes than gorillas n' chimps!

Here's a picture of the old lady:


She is most interesting because it appears her sort were bipeds on land and quadripeds in the trees. This is quite unusual and they have an interesting explanation.

Lovejoy sees these changes as part of an epochal shift in social behavior: Instead of fighting for access to females, a male Ardipithecus would supply a "targeted female" and her offspring with gathered foods and gain her sexual loyalty in return.

To keep up his end of the deal, a male needed to have his hands free to carry home the food. Bipedalism may have been a poor way for Ardipithecus to get around, but through its contribution to the "sex for food" contract, it would have been an excellent way to bear more offspring.

While the Elliot Spitzer Theory of Evolution is interesting I would like to propose another explanation. The apes weren't bringing home the bacon for the ladies, they were already realizing the key to advancement was befriending the apes' superior. As in our household, all groceries lead to:

The apes needed good grasping devices for procuring and delivering snacks to their intellectual leaders:

And here is a gratuitous photo of me eating food. I didn't even have to do anything in exchange, just be my usual handsome and noble self.

Now apes, go fetch me my grub as evolution dictates!

Thank you to Sophie Brador for sending me this article to allow me to make my highly scientific analysis of human evolution. I will bring you with me when I pick up my Nobel Prize in Stockholm.

Who Wore it Better?

In this week's edition of "Who Wore it Better" we will compare to users of the Puff Bed. Who looks better?

Ethel?

Wally?This concludes this week's fashion tips.