A Letter to the Cornhuskers

Dear Huskers,

You all know that I am a football fan. And, in particular, I am a Cornhusker. And here is the face of a disappointed dog.

You lost. And you didn't just lose. You lost 76 to 39. To KANSAS. Now, no offense to Kansas but that is more points than Kansas scored in the entire decade of the 80s against the Huskers! (Ah, I remember it well).

So here is my yell-y coach face.


DUDES! You're embarrassing me! It's quite hard for me to trash talk when you are are stinking worse than my sissy's bum after a meal of pork and beans! So let's GET IT IN GEAR! You have TWO GAMES left. One against some goddamn wildcats and another against the Bail-postin' Buffaloes. WIN ONE FOR THE NIPPER! (I just gave myself that nickname because I nip things to herd them. Get it?)

Smoocheroonies,

Wally.

PS. I'm still available for that coaching job. But don't take too long. I hear the Philadelphia Eagles might be drawing up an offer for me, too.

Another Day, Another Dog

A dog strikes AGAIN at the Tour. Why is the rash of canine saboteurs not the headlining story??! This time the dog (who looks like a lab of some sort) took out Sandy Casar who won the stage anyway. You can watch the video here. I wonder if we will see dogs showing up at NFL games this year, you know, getting a little revenge for Michael Vick?

Here's what happened:

Casar's spectacular crash occurred after a dog had wandered from the left hand-side of the road which thronged with spectators.

The Frenchman first hit the dog, then the tarmac on a slight descent as the quartet tried to stretch their advantage.

"The dog wasn't on the leash, so of course it surprised me," said Casar, who was left with grazes on his right buttock.

In brighter news, I believe the tour is being led by an Irish corgador named Albert O. Corgador:

Discovery Channel's Alberto Contador retained the yellow jersey with a 1min 50sec lead on Australian Cadel Evans, and 2:49 on his American teammate Levi Leipheimer.

I couldn't find a picture of a crash so here's a picture of me and my snaggletooth:

Watchin' the Tour

My sissy and I have been having a good time watch the Tour of the Pants on Vs., a network which is otherwise filled with dudes wailing on each other, I think.

My sissy lacks some understanding of the sport of cycling. In fact she lacks understanding of any sport that does not involve a ball.


Here I am howling for joy that Thor Hushovd won yesterday's stage. Why? I like the name Thor.