Melting My Hard Hard Heart

It has been raining all day. It is dark and thunder rumbly. I am grumpy. But then there is this:

Unwelcome Visitors

Lately I've been doing a lot of this.


And this (roaching while grimacing)


And feeling like this.

The culprit is a deadbeat named Al Urgee who squats in places where he is not welcome. Last month he made my friend Stan feel like this:

What a jerk! (Al, not Stan who is a stand up fellow!) I think Al must have stolen my address from Stan and come for a visit. He's been hanging out in my ma ape's nose and he's been making me itchy. I have some bald patches and scabs from scratching so much. We had some images of Al enlarged and saw THIS:



AHHHH! No wonder I'm so irritated! Get this dude offa me! My ma ape has been slipping me some bennies! This dude Benny Drill has helped me sleep through the night and make me less irritated and irritable. It's been working a bit. I hope Benny chases Al off so I can leave him


behind.

Unhappy 4th of July!

At the risk of sounding unpatriotic (and either you are with me or you are against me), I hate the 4th of July. It's my least favorite holiday. Why? FIREWORKS. Hate 'em. I hate the firecrackers that make the popping sounding. I hate the fireworks with their booming noise. And I hate it when they make that squealing across the sky sound.

The only good part about the 4th is the BBQing.

Holidays I like: Thanksgiving, Christmas, my Burpday, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Arbor Day (I love the trees for providing shade to rest in and places to pee).

Holidays I dislike: the 4th, President's Day, Father's Day (guilty feelings), Labor Day (school is starting).

I'm on the fence about: Halloween (involves candy but I can't have chocolate anyway. And there was also that year I got dressed up by a ladybug. The horror!), Easter (I've yet to find that d*mn gigantic rabbit or the eggs he is supposed to leave around our lawn).

And we were supposed to get TROUTS for breakfast but then my ma ape forget to freeze them so we had fillet mignon instead. And it had better stop raining so we can BBQ. I saw shrimps.