SPCA Saturday Preview!

You have been warned.

Fridays are for Fun!

Fridays are for fun! To convince my ma ape to stop googling dog hearts, I have decided to do a cuteness intervention! Check out the little girls walking the sheeps! And also Hamish the lab who looks an AWFUL lot like yours truly! But with legs, of course. From the Telegraph, only the finest in news.

My Achey Breaky Heart

Well I went to the vet and it turns out I SWOONED. I had a syncope or fainting spell because of my bum ticker. My heartrate is way too high. Like 250 beats/minute. And I have high blood pressure. And the vet told me I have Tacky-cardia. HOW RUDE. I happen to know my heart is very classy. So I'm going to have a consult with the cardi-ologist (he specializes in cardigan corgis?) to decide what to do. For now I just have to take it easy. No shouting at the neighbor or brudder-humpa-humpa. In other words, no fun.

My ma ape has noticed a pattern wherein I have a medical emergency right around the holidays. Three years ago I had a back problem and then she spent all night with me in the ER after I ate my whole (sample) bottle of Rimadyl. And then two years ago the vet detected my heart problem (then manifesting as an arrhythmia and murmur). And now another ticker/vapors problem.

Maybe when I visit and they take me in the back "for tests" I am eating brisket while the vet tells me how to help him get $$ to pay for Christmas presents.

My lips are sealed.

Feeling Poorly

As you can see from my pho-tos I am feeling a bit under the weather. This morning I scared the *insert HBO Word Here* out of my ma ape. I had either a syncope (fainting spell) or possibly a seizure. We were out for our usual 5 a.m. walk when a rogue Jack Russell ran at us and we barked until the owner came to get the rogue dog and then I fell over and stiffened. I came to quickly and fortunately we were close to home and I made it myself and promptly demanded breakfast.

So now I have to go to the v-e-t. My ma ape suspects this is related to my bum ticker and I might have to start meds. I have plans to move in with Dick Cheney and eat freshly harvested babies or whatever he does to keep his heart working.

Beware of Rogue Russells.

A Sporting Weekend!

I spent much of my weekend watching sports. I watched the HOOSKERS Husk the Buffa-lows a and I watched the EAGLES soar over the Cardi-nots and I watched the Jayhawks hawk all over the Misery Tigers and I even watched the STILLERS STUMP the STUPID PATS. But we also like to play sports at our house.

My brudder and sister are into synchro sports like tag team sharkinating.

They have to stretch a lot. It's like yoga without the zen.

Or the relaxation.

In fact it has much more in common with WWE or maybe Ultimate Fighting than yoga.

My sissy has the faces down. And it's hilarious because she always looks like the mean one even though Oscar is TOTALLY the bratty one. She's been framed!


They also like to do synchro fetching. My brudder needs to work on tongue control.

I'm directing. It's time for the turn out!
And the run!

And back together again!

I'm much more into solo sports. Like competitive roaching with cow stuffie (which my ma ape called my sheep until she noticed it was moo-ing. Yeah, real Nebraska girl that one.)

I also spent much of Thanksgiving working on my competitive eating skills so I will be ALL READY for the WING BOWL this year in Philly and then the HOT DOG eating contest on the fourth o' July.

I'll show you how I make more room. I have a chant for it.

STEP UP TO THE PLATE!

CONTEMPLATE!

REGURGITATE!

ELABORATE!

ACCENTUATE!
CAPTIVATE!

CELEBRATE!

By the way, I know you have seen an awful lot of my chunder of late. It's not because I'm sick. It's because I like to go to the field and gorge on grass until I barf. Good time had by all!