Sponsor a starving dog

I would like to alert you to a dire situation. As many of you may know, I have been on a diet for about a million years. My ma ape says I need to keep my weight down for the good of my ticker and my spondy-losis of the spiney-losis.

But I am slowly going mad with the hunger.


I have been reduced to foraging for my own food.



Eating salads. And not even with arugula!


The problem has spread to my sissy who is hallucinating that my ma ape's foot is a chicken back.

And my baby brudder has been reduced to eating tennis balls as if they were ice cream cones.

Nom nom.


For only four pounds of meat per day you could sponsor one of these dogs (me first!) and ensure that they do not go to bed hungry. Look at these sad faces, how can you sleep at night knowing it has been three days since they have had ice cream?


Brother, can you spare a Wallymelon?