Discrimination

Both my onkel Eric (an ape and ape afficionado) and my granny sent me this story about a dude who smuggled a monkey under his hat! He flew from Florida to New York and didn't get caught until some passenger saw the monkey on his ponytail. That's some quality airport security! Though I'm not sure why human apes are ok but little monkeys are not. Since the flight attendants described the little dude as quiet and not disruptive, I would guess Mr. Marmoset was much less likely to get tipsy, demand more bags of pretzels, pinch the flight attendant's butt and then spend the rest of the flight in the toilet. I'm just saying.

But, I've been trying to figure out what kind of a hat my ma ape needs if she is going to smuggle me onto airplanes. Maybe one of these: