not MY crazy mawma

as a small defense of my mawma, i'd like to respond to this comment posted in the salon tv reviewer's comments on bravo's new show 'showdog moms and dads' (a small editorial: not nearly as funny and interesting as it could be. want to find the real crazies? rescue dog moms and dads. i'm just saying.) anyway, here's the offending comment:

While we're on the subject, though, let me just make one thing clear: While all self-respecting, single women in their 30s fear becoming crazy cat ladies, i.e., women who live in filthy yet charmingly cluttered houses where everything is covered in a fine layer of downy soft cat hair, they should really fear becoming crazy dog ladies instead. Crazy dog ladies live in filthy houses that are not remotely charming, and their floors are not only covered with floaty bunches of dog hair, but also crowded with ripped-up corpses of stuffed animals, which crazy dog ladies refer to, tellingly, as "babies."

for the record, my mawma has never ONCE referred to my squeakies as babies. given that i pretend to hunt and kill them, that would be creepy.

slumber party!

wally and frodo
Originally uploaded by cerasmus.

my pal frodo is over for a slumber party! he's a great guy and has you can see, he has great taste because he thinks i have a lovely bottom. you may enlarge if you'd like to sneak a peek at it. it's a real shame i don't have a scratch and sniff blog, eh?

beggars and choosers

action shot begging
Originally uploaded by cerasmus.

here i am again with my pal frodo (and morgan, being skillfully blocked by my leaping abilities). we're asking for snacks after a robust round of wwf-ing (that's wrasslin', not world wildlife-funding). frodo looks fur-ocious but he's really a softie. i could look at pictures of us all day. in between naps, of course.

pontiff-icating

by the way, i have been eagerly awaiting the call from the vatican to appoint me the next Poop. so, cardinals, get on the horn and get in touch. i have plenty of other offers from major churches, you know. if you read my blog, my vast theological training in things that look like jesus and/or the virgin mary makes me a rather hot commodity in the god business. my first act as Poop, after naming myself a saint, will be to change this chastity vow stuff because i refuse to quit trying to hump that little dog at the park who tries to hump everyone else.

incriminating photographs

WallyCat
Originally uploaded by cerasmus.

it has recently been brought to my attention that a number of incriminating photos have been taken of my cat-like behavior (which today included sprawling out in a big ole shaft on sunlight on the floor) that includes sleeping on the backs of couches and spending many hours grooming myself has been caught on film. to avoid the inevitable scandal that will rock the blogosphere i will post the pictures myself to demonstrate that i am not a felinophobe because of any possible feline tendencies myself, i just enjoy chasing them and eating their poop.

as a mea culpa to goddamn cats i would just like to say that a cat who owns some friends of mine makes an appearance on the internets today. well played, katya, well played.