pontiff-icating

by the way, i have been eagerly awaiting the call from the vatican to appoint me the next Poop. so, cardinals, get on the horn and get in touch. i have plenty of other offers from major churches, you know. if you read my blog, my vast theological training in things that look like jesus and/or the virgin mary makes me a rather hot commodity in the god business. my first act as Poop, after naming myself a saint, will be to change this chastity vow stuff because i refuse to quit trying to hump that little dog at the park who tries to hump everyone else.