Sunday, June 17, 2007

A Weekend in the Life of Wally's Food

Weekends are a busy time. My ma ape has to get me food for the week so I don't starve. I always threaten to call the SPCA if she's a little slow with the dinner so she works hard on the weekend. I work hard supervising.

First, she had to take care of my garden where she is growing tasty vege-tables. Yes, I DO like vege-tables. Especially with my meat-ables. But I was SHOCKED when I saw she was putting THIS out there:

Hummus and manure? Every morning when we go walking I put out some perfectly good, even superb manure and she puts it in a bag and throws it away! And then she goes and buys a bag full of it? Sheesh! No wonder she's always complaining about being broke. If she bought me hummus I'd make all the manure she wants. Anyway, she spent the weekend literally shoveling sh*t. Which is not so different from her day job as I understand it.

Then she put down red mulch on the garden so we have a CORNHUSKER garden:

And then they grilled outside. I have to guard the grill so none of the neighbors steal dinner! That cockapoo next door was looking at the grill all funny and there were salmon-ables on there! No way, Jose.

Look at our meaty sink! My ma ape went to the store to get my weekly meatables. She puts them in single serve packages to go into my freezing box. She got me some beefy meats, some chicken meats, some cornish hen meats and even some lamb shanks! She has to label what's in the bag with what's in it and whether it's a Wally size portion or an Ethel size portion. I tried to relabel them to all say "Wally" but it's hard without opposable thumbs.

And look here! Frosty paws! She made two ice cube trays full and so they're in little bite size snackies for us to eat when it is HOT. Which it is NOW. And yet, I'm not eating one. What's wrong with this picture?

Here I am enjoying my lamb shank. My ma ape doesn't allow the other ape in the house to eat lamb cuz she feels bad for the lambs. But she lets ME! She's funny that way. (Also called inconsistent! But foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. (Thanks Ralph Waldo!) And I have a big brain. That's why my head is so big.

My sissy does the splits for her lambie. How does her body do that?

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Blogger Gus said...

Gawd Wally, even Teka can't get into that postion Ethel is in while eating her lamb! Sheesh, and I thought E.Rabbit was limber. Your dinners look delicious. I can't convince muzzer that RAW is better, except for my veggies.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Wow Wally...that's a lot of meat-ables! Looks yummy. My Mom isn't brave enough to do the RAW diet...I'm trying to convince her...maybe one day!!!

Yum!!! Lots of Licks, Ruby

8:16 PM  
Blogger Jacks, Narra, Tuchuck, and Rousseau said...

Ha ha! We're perplexed by this behavior, too... Every day, there's a small army of landscapers out here, yet our human insists on removing our contributions to their work. And, really, it's got to be pretty good, right? Look what you're eating! :)


8:27 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Hey Wally, Speaking of manure, my mom wants to know how your poops are on the BARFing diet, because apparently she has become somewhat particular about the consistency of my poop. I say, leave my poop alone! But she says, no, no, no. I don't mess with her poop. Man!

9:41 PM  
Blogger Urban Smoothie Read said... owner actually did not bother to throw away my poo....she juz dig a hole n bury them..

n she never let me to enjoy my raw bone in d lovely garden...she said my bone will get too much of salt n pepper later.....hahah

10:10 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

all this food talk is making me SO hungry! your Mom sure is nice to get you all that DELICIOUS meat.

11:05 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...


So, you're an omnivore! Good for you, man. I don't get your mom's hang up about your manure... unless she is collecting it for her scrapbook or something (like some people collect locks of baby hair). Maybe it is priceless to her.

Thanks for clarifying your beard comment. I knew it was something gay-related, but was still a little confused. You're a good friend to Tad to make the offer.

Enjoy the MEAT! My girl is thinking about the barf diet, but still hasn't made a decision.

Goob love,

11:09 PM  
Blogger Nazila Merati said...

My moms are too lazy and absent to make sure that I get meat the way I want it.

HOwever, every day they take me to a garden with lots of vegetables and honestly, until the zukes are the size of baseball bats I can't be bothered.

Can I interest you in a raspberry?

They tried to get me to eat them.

Wally, my mom picks up my poops because in the 98105, dogs don't get to go in the back yards, they are required to be seen on the street.


Oh, can you post the frosty paws recipe, promises to make me some, one day.

your pal,


12:20 AM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

Woh, those meatables and frosty paws look real yummy.

~ girl girl

3:08 AM  
Blogger Katherine and Pippa said...

You have such a busy life Wally. All that food to get through....

I am too idle to eat so much, but I admire your energy.


3:55 AM  
Blogger Duke said...

Your garden is beautiful Wally - a true work of art! I don't see a fence so I suppose this means you're free to go in and help yourself to a nice juicy tomato as soon as they ripen!

Love ya lots,

4:01 AM  
Blogger Suki & Joey said...

What a beautiful garden! I wish my Mom was talented that way ;)

So you guys are doing well on the BARF diet? Good for you! I know it's a good diet for a lot of dogs, but Mom says I'll never be on it because we pugs have a tendency to choke very easily, so it's kibble + canned mush for me! Oh, and some table scraps, of course, even though it's not good for my waistline!

Puggy kisses

6:38 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

hey, that's a cute picture of you eating your yummy bloody bone Wally! Mmmmm, I want some too! I haven't been eating bone for months already... I wonder why? My hooman got no more money is it??? Hhhhmmmppff!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

7:40 AM  
Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Ethel kinda looks like a marionette in that last picture!

Bussie Kissies

8:25 AM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Wally.
I am sure it was a very bussy day for you!
I dream of a day I can get a bone like yours!
Have a nice day

9:03 AM  
Blogger Oscar's mummy and daddy said...

Mmmm, lamb shank is my fave!

Oscar x

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's some good looking food you had there!!!!

12:36 PM  
Blogger Frasier said...

Yum,yum that looks so good....I need some food changes....
that manure bit was funny.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

You always take such brilliant photos, Wally! (all due to your handsomeness, as opposed to your ma ape's photo-capturing ability, of course)

My girl is one of those humans who don't pick up our poo. She thinks her neighbors are getting mad at her. She just says "then don't walk in front of our door!" I don't know what the big deal is. *shrug*

2:40 PM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Can you believe these humans actually go out & BUY manure??? I'm with you Wally...I make all the manure they could ever need.

I ate chicken legs & buffalo all weekend. I told my Ma that if Wally eats all raw meat, I should too. She's kicking it around.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Boomer and his mom Carol said...

Wow Wally, you eat like a king! I'm going to call you King Wally!

My mom thinks your garden is beautiful! What is she growing? My folks are growing tomatoes, squash, onions, basil and parsley.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

Wally - the garden looks great! The food you are eating though looks even better.

I like the picture of you by the grill, keeping guard.

And I eat just like your Ethel, I am sure we were separated at birth!

You sure look like you have a gi-normous brain you know, you handsome dude!

3:32 PM  
Blogger Jackson's J1 and J2 said...

Hey Wally, I'm hungry! All that meat is just for you and Ethel? Surely you must have some leftovers (for me)? J x

11:05 AM  

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