A Weekend in the Life of Wally's Food
Weekends are a busy time. My ma ape has to get me food for the week so I don't starve. I always threaten to call the SPCA if she's a little slow with the dinner so she works hard on the weekend. I work hard supervising.
First, she had to take care of my garden where she is growing tasty vege-tables. Yes, I DO like vege-tables. Especially with my meat-ables. But I was SHOCKED when I saw she was putting THIS out there:
Hummus and manure? Every morning when we go walking I put out some perfectly good, even superb manure and she puts it in a bag and throws it away! And then she goes and buys a bag full of it? Sheesh! No wonder she's always complaining about being broke. If she bought me hummus I'd make all the manure she wants. Anyway, she spent the weekend literally shoveling sh*t. Which is not so different from her day job as I understand it.
Then she put down red mulch on the garden so we have a CORNHUSKER garden:
And then they grilled outside. I have to guard the grill so none of the neighbors steal dinner! That cockapoo next door was looking at the grill all funny and there were salmon-ables on there! No way, Jose.
Look at our meaty sink! My ma ape went to the store to get my weekly meatables. She puts them in single serve packages to go into my freezing box. She got me some beefy meats, some chicken meats, some cornish hen meats and even some lamb shanks! She has to label what's in the bag with what's in it and whether it's a Wally size portion or an Ethel size portion. I tried to relabel them to all say "Wally" but it's hard without opposable thumbs.
And look here! Frosty paws! She made two ice cube trays full and so they're in little bite size snackies for us to eat when it is HOT. Which it is NOW. And yet, I'm not eating one. What's wrong with this picture?
Here I am enjoying my lamb shank. My ma ape doesn't allow the other ape in the house to eat lamb cuz she feels bad for the lambs. But she lets ME! She's funny that way. (Also called inconsistent! But foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. (Thanks Ralph Waldo!) And I have a big brain. That's why my head is so big.
My sissy does the splits for her lambie. How does her body do that?