Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Meaty Matters

My ma ape showed me this article called "Rethinking the Meat Guzzler" in the New York Times. I was VERY excited because I thought "meat guzzling! I could be eating meat without chewing? That will save me a lot of time." Turns out it's about how our meat producing processes are not very efficient and use a lot of energy. If everyone reduced their meat consumption by 20% it would be the energy-saving equivalent to everyone driving a Prius (one of those hybrid cars). I told my ma ape that I am already meat efficient because I eat meat but I don't let her eat meat. But she convinced me that if I want to do my part I should cut my meat consumption by 20%. Being a civic minded guy I agreed to cut back on the meatable eatables.

And then this morning I woke up and realized; she just tricked me into going back on my diet. I've been had, my friends. I've had the wool pulled over my eyes. Duped. Bamboozled. Hoodwinked. And by my own ape.

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Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Wally, I bet when you eat your meatables, you make those juicy sounds...Ooo, you're making me hungry.

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

6:20 AM  
Blogger Roxie, Sammy, Andy and Shermie said...

Your ma ape is sneaky. Maybe you should cut back 20% on the attention to give to her.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

8:40 AM  
Blogger Peanut said...

Wally what kind of ma ape are you raising over there? That she would use an article to trick you onto a diet.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Never trust an ape, I always say. Well, okay, I never say that. But maybe I should think about it. My ape is always pulling stunts like that. We need to organize, Wally. We need to take control of the meatables and walkables and chasing the tennis ballables. Can't you make this part of your election platform? Rise up Wally, rise up! I bet you could even license the song for cheap.


8:54 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Ooooo, that is a dirty trick! Bad Ma Ape. I think you deserve Xtra meatables for that.


9:34 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

Wally: Your Ma Ape has a nice way of convincing you to do what she wants. Does this mean you also get more vegemables, more fruitables, more wallymelon? Wouldn't that be OK? My muzzer (ape) also does things like that, dad calls it "offering a positive alternative" but muzzer sometimes slips into "because I'm the muzzer that's why" mode too.

9:42 AM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

Hey, wait a minute - you get raw meat, so that is already reducing energy. I think you should meet in the middle at 10%.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

They can be a crafty lot, those apes. Maybe cutting back is an ok idea. Would you, Ethel and the apes fit in a Prius? We eat mostly kibble here. Those other two got in a fight over bones one day and bloodied up the rug another time. Grammie had to spray the rug with Basic G to get the smell out.

1:11 PM  
Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Using your concern about the environment to trick you - brilliant! I think she deserves a bully stick of her own for that. Oh, no, give her a Greenie.

Bussie Kissies

4:33 PM  
Blogger Nazila Merati said... remembers seeing billy bragg at the hammersmith palais opening for xmal deutschland circa 1981.

She loves that song.....waiting for the great leap forward.

11:23 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

Just when we get comfortable with the fact the humans are pretty um well stupid, they pull a fast one on us!!

12:33 AM  
Blogger Jen and Suki said...

If your ma ape has already cut her meat consumption by 100% that means your civic duty would actually be to *increase* consumption by 50%. You have to balance the budget, Wally. That's what they say on MPR all the time. Makes sense to me, but neither my mom nor I are any good at math.

12:05 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Hey, if you & Ma Ape can co-exist with her veganables and your meatables...more power to ya! I'll admit, that Vegan mac & cheese looks way yummy, but I'm a sucka for da real cheeseables!

My Mom & I are cheeseaholics...I guess I'm just lucky.

Want me to send you some Pixburgh sharp cheddar????


6:13 PM  

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