Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The naked ape days are numbered!

This is a pho-to of a worried corgador.

As some of you may know, I have long had a plan to bring an end to naked ape hegemony and replace it with the benevolent dictatorship of dogs. A key part of my plan is the recruitment of hairy apes but it appears one of our allies is making our plans a bit obvious. Mother Jones reports:

Chimps have long been known to stockpile food, but a 30-year-old chimp named Santino is making news because he does far more: he finds stones in his Swedish zoo home, smashes them into throwable size, and then stores them in caches that face the viewing area on the edge of his enclosure. When tourists show up, he lets fly, throwing up to 20 rocks in rapid succession and sometimes hitting visitors standing 30 feet away across a water-filled moat. When no rocks are available for his villainy, Santino hacks chunks of concrete off the artificial boulders in his pen and assaults humans using those.

Be patient, Santino! And while you are learning to make weapons I have been dilligently learning to use tools. So far I have mastered the TiVo:

Thanks to my Onkel Eric for sending me the link and, I'm sure, warmly welcoming his hairy overlords.

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12 Comments:

Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

There are NO ends to your talents!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

6:03 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

Teka ate a remote one time, does that count?

gus

7:52 AM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

The TiVo - mastery of such - is a much more effective weapon than stones.
Walleye RULES!!!!

wags from the whippets

8:06 AM  
Blogger Jake of Florida said...

Our own "hairy ape" remembers visiting that ingloriously named "Monkey Jungle" in Miami and being pelted through the cage with chimp poop that the residents had stockpiled.

Perhaps we dogs should be a bit smarter about what we do --or allow to be done -- with our own potential weapons -- I always look curiously when said hairy ape stoops down with her hand in a plastic bag to gather up my stuff and then deposit it in a container.

Jake

9:05 AM  
Blogger Dozer and Coop said...

Good night! The things we learn from you! And we thought we were clever because we can open drawers!

Love, Dozer, Dottie and Cooper

9:19 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

We understand that TiVo is one of those skills that will be needed for survival of the fittest. How clever of you to be on it already.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

omdog we thought that apes liked to throw poo but not Rocks AT the hairless ones! PAWESOME!!

8:25 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

go Santino.....go...and Wally I will happily be ruled by your dictatorship....go Wally Go

8:25 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

Wally
My Daddi can't even do Tivo..you awe amazing..it's inevitable, you will wule the wowld
smoochie kisses
ASTA

8:43 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Wally, I know this whole overthrow business is important and stuff, but I can't quite get over that whole body profile shot. Wowzers dude! Look at you!

xo
SB

9:20 PM  
Blogger Princess, Tank and Isaac: The Newfs of Hazard said...

These are super cute pictures of you, Wally. Maybe your ma ape should become a fashion photographer.

1:19 AM  
Blogger Simba and Jazzi said...

Could you teach us how to do that?

Simba and Jazzi xxx

3:08 AM  

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