The naked ape days are numbered!

This is a pho-to of a worried corgador.

As some of you may know, I have long had a plan to bring an end to naked ape hegemony and replace it with the benevolent dictatorship of dogs. A key part of my plan is the recruitment of hairy apes but it appears one of our allies is making our plans a bit obvious. Mother Jones reports:

Chimps have long been known to stockpile food, but a 30-year-old chimp named Santino is making news because he does far more: he finds stones in his Swedish zoo home, smashes them into throwable size, and then stores them in caches that face the viewing area on the edge of his enclosure. When tourists show up, he lets fly, throwing up to 20 rocks in rapid succession and sometimes hitting visitors standing 30 feet away across a water-filled moat. When no rocks are available for his villainy, Santino hacks chunks of concrete off the artificial boulders in his pen and assaults humans using those.

Be patient, Santino! And while you are learning to make weapons I have been dilligently learning to use tools. So far I have mastered the TiVo:

Thanks to my Onkel Eric for sending me the link and, I'm sure, warmly welcoming his hairy overlords.