Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Sundays are for Smooshing

As suggested, I am working on the cover art for my new book Inside Wally's Melon. And by "I" am working on it, I mean Mr. J has fired up his Photoshop and is working in the Wally-directed sweatshop in our living room (no Daily Show until it is done, Mister!) My book is the memoir of a dog forced to live in a world (temporarily) ruled by the naked apes (until the era of President Ernest is ushered in). I am thinking about having a chapter on some of my favorite recipes. We do BARF (Biologically Appropriate Raw Foods) so many of my recipes would read: "Take quail out of package. Hand quail to Wally" which is what I did for dinner. However, my ma ape imagines herself to be a Canine Gourmet (chef FOR canines, not OF!) and makes wonderfully complicated potions that include loads of supplements and assorted add-ons. So I'll give you a preview some of my favorites that we made on Sunday. And by "we" I mean I cracked the whip while my ma ape worked in the kitchen-sweatshop.

First is VEGGIE SMOOSH. These are some of the things that go into it:

Basically most vegetables are good, though NO ONIONS and my ma ape limits some veggies (like maters and eggplantables and green pepperables) because they can aggravate inflammation like arfritis (which I have). My ma ape always adds a little garlic. There's some info out there that garlic is bad for us but also a lot of info that it's good for us and some places even sell garlic and brewer's yeast tablets for preventing creepy crawlies. In large quantities, garlic may cause anemia but if you look at most high-end dog foods they contain some garlic. We did not get that WHOLE head of garlic. Above you also see kale greens, cukes, zucchini, and parsley.

Now, the problem with this veggie garden is that we dogables do not digest whole vegetables well but mooshing them makes them more "bioavailable." So my ma ape puts 'em in a blender with some chicken broth (mmmmm) and whole eggs. WHOLE EGGS??? Yup--the shells have loads of calci-yum.

Then she puts them into ice cube trays and makes freezable veggie cubables. (May also add nutritional yeast, flax seed, blackstrap molasses before freezing or, splash with Apple Cider Vinegar in bowl.)


WALLYMELON! and Bananas, mangoables, and cherriables and blueberries (not pictured). Fruitables have loads of anti-ox-idants. I explainted to my ma ape that I might want oxes cuz they might have bull pizzle that I could catch and send to GooberStan but ma ape said These Oxes are Bad. She adds frozen cherries. Cherriables are supposed to have anti-inflammatory properties--good for dogs with arfritis (me!). She gets frozen cuz they're cheaper. A commenter came by to warn about diabetables (and I think warned Pippa too) but froot is perfectly good for us in moderate quantities. Canine diabetes is mostly genetic and can be brought on by being overweight but I'm not. And my sissy is a skinny minny.

I had to taste test the Wallymelon:

It meets my standards so into the blenderable for moooshin!

Pour into ice cube trays and into the freezer. In the freezerable there are bags of opaque brown cubes (frosty paws!), transparent brown cubes (brothables), red cubes (froot smoosh) and green cubes (veggie smoosh!). My ma ape got a BIG freezer to hold our meatables so she would have room in her peoplefreezer for her gardenburgers and Soy Delicious and Morningstar farms snausage but now her freezer is full of CUBES! Haha!

Now, here is one of the tastiest dishes that I know and love!

Yup, that's my girl SA-MAN-THA! from the Brat Pack. And yes, she is eating Wallymelon. Now excuse me, I have to go fan myself.

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Blogger Katherine and Pippa, said...

Now when do you think I am EVER going to get mistress to do any of that?

She is too busy doing gazpacho for them (I see your tomatoes are getting bigger..)

Except of course that I normally bark for some to go on my breakfast.

I need some tips.

Ma ape must be well trained. Give.


4:51 PM  
Blogger nm said...

Your apes love you more than mine love me. All I got for dinner last night was some nicely baked sweet potato and pork loin on top of my kibble. Did you hear that? I got kibble. It is not right.

Can you recruit your ma ape to become white house chef when the time comes?


5:05 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Wally.
Thanks for this very illustrative post. Now my mom has some work to do for me! Yummy!

5:27 PM  
Blogger The Brat Pack said...

What the hell? You get all that? It's like we're living in the 18th century over here, I gotta make a run for it.

You like that pic of me, huh? The whole time I was slurpin' down that mellony goodness I thought of you. Oh yea, I thought of you. Lots. MMMMMM.

Yours in hound love,

5:29 PM  
Blogger Sparky said...

Oh my goodness gracious! I am so gonna ask my mama to make some froot smoosh for me...I love fruits.

8:38 PM  
Blogger Casper said...

Wow that fruit smoosh looks pawsome! Gotta get momma to make us some too. I'll send her over to read this and get the recipe.

Woofs, Casper

9:19 PM  
Blogger Bernard Hinault Lilje said...

Ok, I am officially deprived!! All I get is kibble--yes, kibble and thats it. no vegi's (i love tomoatoes) no fruit..nothing. Is there any room over in Wally land? I'm leavin this place!


11:02 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

I thought my Mom was doing good by making me frosty paws...I demand fruit smooshes and all that other good stuff...excuse me while I go crack the whip on my Mom to get mooshing!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

11:35 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

I am starting to get bored with the veggies mom is giving us so she might be smooshing soon!

1:26 AM  
Blogger Oscar Airedale said...

Yum, yum and more yum. I love my fruits and veggies, I normally eat them before my meat!

Oscar x

3:45 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

ummmmmmm your vege smoosh and fruit smoosh both look delicious! I can't decide which one I'd love more?!

Love ya lots,

4:06 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Eeeeeww! Veggies & Fruits smooshies??? Not my kind of taste, thank you! Does it taste that good?

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

4:48 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Way to train those Apes, Wally!! Dad was just yelling at Mom yesterday saying we didn't get a giant deep freezer to fill with chicken backs & turkey necks. Oh yes we did!!!!

I have a little arfritis too and Mom just doubled my dose of G/C & MSM 2 weeks ago and you should see the spring in my step!!


7:10 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Woober Butt!

Mmm. Mmm. All that smoosh is looking FINE!

My girl is doing her research on BARF. She likes to give me the occasional vegetable and fruitable, but I'm wanting my meatables too. Where does your ma ape get your meaty bones & other carnage?

Goob love,

8:56 AM  
Blogger Peanut said...

Can I come over for dinner?

9:01 AM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

What in the world did I do wrong to deserve a girl who just opens a bag of kibble for my dinner?!?!

11:54 AM  
Blogger Frasypoo said...

Hi Wally,
My mom uses the word wallymelon and someone thought she had a lisping problem !!!
Those smooshes look so good !!

2:28 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

i want to preorder your book....i hope there are lots of pictures of wally in it....winkwink...you are so cute....your food looks so yummy

1:02 PM  

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