Saturday, October 06, 2007

Exclusive Interview! by Tad!

I thought that maybe this interview would probably be bought by Vanity Fair but they haven't called yet. Here is an EXCLUSIVE--a big interview by TADPOLE:

1) ETHEL, what do you think about all day long? Clue us in on what goes on in that frantic little mind of yours!

Ethel: Look at me thinkerating! Here is what I'm thinking: tennis balls, tennis balls, things covered in tennis ball fuzz, tennis balls, wally, tennis balls, wally covered in tennis ball fuzz, tennis balls, bunnies, tennis balls, deers, wally, tennis balls

Wally: Tad, I see you are wise emphasizing the little mind.

2) WALLY, are you lobbying to get "Corgador" accepted by the AKC? Describe what the breed standard would be.

Excellent question, Tad. I have mixed feelings about the AKC. On the one hand, they are biased and refuse to let me compete because a) they are breedist b) I am sans some important bits and c) I would win every time. On the other hand, I do like shiny trophies and I'd love to be a pageant girl, especially if I could be like Miss USA and wind up in rehab.

But here's the potential breed standard:
Height: 19 inches.
Length: 29 inches stem to stern (not counting tail).
Weight: Should be around 150, actual around 43 pounds.
Head: Enormous (to fit a constantly expanding brainable)
Walk: Jaunty
Speed: Superfast, possibly supersonic when running to the kitchen when the fridge door is opened
Coat: Lovely silky black with some salt n' pepper in the tail and headable area. White patch on chest preferred.
Teeth: Some.
Unique features: Fluffy and pert bum, beautiful howlin' voice, must roach regularly.

3) WALLY, you coin many terms that we lesser dogs adopt into our everyday language (meatables, wallymelon, etc). What's it like to be such an important DWB cultural leader?

First, I'd like to say that there are no lesser dogs. Only naked apes and cats. Tad, I'd like to think that I've introduced many dogs to new foodables and languageables, though as with any great artist I am inspired by my audience.

4) WALLY, we all know how much you love your foodables. What's the worst foodable your Ma Ape could make you eat? (hypothetically, of course - we know she could never MAKE you do anything....)

Oh jeez. This is a HARD question. Not only because my ma ape could never make me do anything but I can't really imagine food that I don't like! I have eaten wasabi peas and sheets of nori and grapefruitables and spinachables, you name it, I've probably eaten it.

So I will have to say--NOTHING. If my ma ape fed me nothing, that would be the worst thing EVER.
5) WALLY, your sissy Ethel occasionally has a slightly manic aura about her in pictures. Are you ever frightened of her unpredictability and slightly bizarre behaviors?

Afraid of this Tad? I could see where you might think this. She is crazy. But the truth is--she is afraid of everything, including herself sometimes. (Maybe not afraid of tennis balls or deers). And, frankly, I rule the roost. I decide when, where, and how we're going to play. I get to clean the dinner bowls. And if she ever doesn't do what I want I just tattle on her cuz I'm totally a mama's boy and she'll take my side because who could say no to this face?

Thanks for the great questions, Tad! Have you ever considered doing this professionally? Interviewing me, I mean.

If YOU'D like to be interviewed, let me know! Here are the rules:

1. If you are interested in being interviewed, leave me a comment saying, 'interview me' along with your pee-mail address.

2. I will respond by posting five questions for you. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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Blogger Gus said...

Good Job Wally. And you are such a sweety for sharing the interview with Ethel.

9:43 AM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

Great answers Wally.... :) At least I understand what Sissy thinks about most if not ALL of her time.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Great interview Wally! You are truly a multi-dimensionable dude-able.

Joe interviewed me. Come read all about it.

10:51 AM  
Blogger Poppy said...

Thanks for letting us all look through the window into the Mind of Wally. Happy Saturday!


12:17 PM  
Blogger Moco said...

Wally: Don't ever wear neon green. Ethel might be overcome with a psychosis and think you are a tennis ball. Those teeth of hers could do some damage.
I have to agree that you are a leader among leaders. Even Pappy now says that he is going to get "some Wallymelon."

1:08 PM  
Blogger Jackson's J1 and J2 said...

Thanks for letting us get to know you just that little bit better. I love your AKC breed standard, especially the "Jaunty" walk! J x

1:24 PM  
Blogger Molly the Airedale said...

Wonderful interview! Both of you are such a hoot!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

2:02 PM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

My vocab is ever expanding with your blog, dude.

2:39 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Even my dad uses wally language sometimes, its a phenomena!! Thank dog ethel only got one question, it was like reading a Tanner answer!

4:45 PM  
Blogger Princess, Tank and Isaac: The Newfs of Hazard said...

OK, Wally, Great answers. We'd like you to interview us because you're such a clever dog. You could do anywhere from 5 to 15 questions since there are three of us!

5:54 PM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

What a fascinating interview,so thought provoking,intellectual,brilliant...Perhaps it should be televised?? Love A+A( or an autobiogrphy?????)

7:23 PM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

What a fascinating interview,so thought provoking,intellectual,brilliant...Perhaps it should be televised?? Love A+A( or an autobiogrphy?????)

7:23 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

that was a great interview wally...its sounds like you have been interviewed before..i bet you are really famous...

9:35 PM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

oh that interview was so "interestable"!

Your Sissy looks crazy, but I think I love my looky likey Ethel!

8:24 AM  
Blogger Deanna said...

Nice interview!

1:24 PM  

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