Wednesday, September 12, 2007

R.I.P. Big Honking Ape 2007-2007


Eulogy for a Honking Big Ape

You were truly a Great Ape with your honking belly and limbs that squeaked. In fact, I loved you so much that my ma ape let me take you to bed with me in case I got scared and needed the love of an ape. And you kept me company through the long night. And then I repaid you the next day when my ma ape was gone too long and I tore you to bits, taking care to pull out your honking bits and all of your stuffing through a single hole in the neck. An emergency tracheotomy, if you will. I left your fluffy white innards in the living room and took care to drag your furry carcass, not naked and ugly like those other apes, to leave it in the doorway of the bedroom as a cryptic warning to the naked apes.

Do not cross the Ape Slayer.

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17 Comments:

Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Wally, I am so sorry for your loss, but BHA had a good life being your toy. He really did. So...was your Ma Ape freaked when she saw the carnage???

Lots of Licks, Ruby

6:51 PM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

I'm surprised he lasted that long! You gave him a good run Wally. Now it's time to say goodbye.

Sherman

7:34 PM  
Blogger The Brat Pack said...

Your post made Mom spit out her drink laughing. Goodbye good ape - may your journey be peaceful.

Are you gonna get something else to rip the guts out of soon?

:) Bear

7:58 PM  
Blogger Ike said...

You are a stone cold killa.
Ike

8:13 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Wally
An operation that went wrong!! So sorry for your big honking ape. Sure he was a great companion for you!
I don't want you to feel lonely. Ask your ma ape to give you a new one soon!
Have a good night
Lorenza

8:22 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Well, EX-CUUUUSE me, Woober!

Remind me NEVER to get on your bad side, Walls. Like Ike said, you are a stone cold killa. Never knew you had it in you.

It's almost like the Godfather and the horse head in the bed... with less blood and more white stuffing.

Is your ma ape sufficiently scared straight?

Goob love,
Stanley

Good-bye BHA! R.I.P.

8:28 PM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

I hope those hairless apes got the warning and stay away from the Ape Slayer! No one is gonna mess with you!!
PS : I could never get over the fact how they (ie : hairless apes) don't feel nekkid without any hair/fur covering their body! It's obscene to be walking around like that.

8:46 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

oh no, that ape had a good life, perhaps your Mom could seal the hole in the throat and you could have a deflated ape?

9:00 PM  
Blogger Grammie said...

Wally, Wally, Wally:
You have got to get over this separation anxiety. If I was so inclined I would think you were just throwing a big a-- fit. That would not be good. I have always felt that you were kind and caring toward lesser mammals.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

Wally...so the furry apes are threatened with extinction at your house too, huh, not just in the wild?

But hey, at least he lasted long enough to get a photo taken. With Teka around, most of ours don't last that long.

And she is so tiny and cute, just like you!

9:53 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

Wally
He gave his life in a good cause, he comfowted you in youw loneliness, and he took away youw fwustwation, which can lead to all kinds of illnesses...he was a twue fwiend, and i'm suwe he loved evewy minute of being with you. You helped him fulfill his mission in life.now he's with all my suwgified stuffies in stuffie heaven
smoochie kisses
Asta

12:00 AM  
Blogger Cody, THE Fussy Pot Pants said...

I gotta learn from you. I only managed to make a hole in Mr Teddy's eye before it was taken away from me.

All hail the honking ape killer!

2:37 AM  
Blogger Simba said...

Its always sad to lose a friend. But its so much fun!

Simba xx

2:55 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Oh no...Poor honking ape. His brains are all splattered all over the floor. RIP ape...

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

3:52 AM  
Blogger Sparky said...

Awesome destruction skills!!!

1:32 PM  
Blogger Randi said...

Long live Big Honkin Ape...good thing to let you ma ape know what you are capable of in case the thought crosses her mind to stop feeding you...
Love & Licks,
Randi

2:12 PM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

The best way to die is making a difference, so we can truly say Big Honking Ape lived and died well. RIP.

7:05 PM  

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