Saturday, June 14, 2008

Stand By Your Ape

My ma ape woke up this morning feeling woobly, ran 3 miles on her 'mill feeling disgusting and finally decided to tank her run. But she STILL WENT to the SPCA to CHEAT on ME! As her coach and sweetest sweet pea, I do not approve with this training plan.

Here are some dogs she met when she could have been cared for by Dr. Wally T. Corgador, M.D.

Midnight is an Aussie Shepherd (mix) in serious need of a day at the spa. She's totes low key. She was living with some old folks who had to go to a home and couldn't take her. Bummers.

Check out Caesar! He is a Rottweiler or, as I prefer to think of them, a half-Sherman. My ma ape loved his big head.

He was also a bit goofy. He's a nice puppy but I prefer the Shermanator. I need a nice LOW KEY friend right now. No more mad men, please.

This is Gisele Munchin'. She likes to bounce. She also had astronomical poo production, according to my ma ape. She likes playing and kissing.

And then you probably remember THIS dude. Big Red (as my ma ape calls him).

He was almost my baby brudder but he plays a little rough and is at least 65 pounds of muscle.

Although the real reason I wouldn't let them get him is because my ma ape is a dirty trollop! And he enables her all flopping in her lap and giving smoocheroonies and offering up his tum. What a floozy! (That goes for both of 'em).

So when my ma ape was all kissin' up to me and wanting me to come rest with her because she still felt all icky and gross. I said NO NO NO:

But I always give in in the end. So we took a nap and when she woke up my ma ape felt like she'd been in a boxing match but no more sour tum! You're welcome, from Dr. Wally.

Where do I send the bill? Cash or chicken backs only, please.

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Blogger Peanut said...

Go for the chicken backs unless they pay you in Euros. Better deal then getting the dollar

7:02 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

dang dude, you are quite the healer. I can't believe that even though she was sick she went to see her paramours. She's got it bad.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Dude, I may be part Rottenweiler and that Cesear-salad looking guy seems pretty cool...but unless he's 12+, tell your Ma Ape to just say NO!! I think you have all you can handle with the O man, anyway!

Mom says she wants to scoop that Big Red up and take him home but I jammed me big head into her butt & told her NO WAY. I don't know why she has a soft spot for unusually large tongues and pitbutts but she does. I'd tell her she's stupid but I think that'd mean a decrease in chicken backs so let's keep it to ourselves.

You're Ma is totally a dirty trollop. Tripe! You deserve lots & lots of Tripe due to her trolloping!!!!!!!


8:55 PM  
Blogger The Brat Pack said...

We're thinking you should just move to a bigger place and start a sanctuary of your own. You could be like the Dogfather there.


PS Give your Ma Ape kisses from me, I gotta make points with the ladies.

10:07 PM  
Blogger Randi said...

Hey Wally Tamale! So nice of you to help your ma ape with her sore sour tum tum...& a little smoocheraroonie & nappin from Dr. Wally T. Corgador MD is THE CURE for world peace, & sour tum tums...& in the ape world, sleeping with your patients would be somewhat of a no-no..but I guess its the cure all in your medical practice!

Your ma is a very nice ma for helping out all those pups w/o a furever home...even when you feel slighted & cheated upon & just plain lonely when she is committing a-dog-ultry, just think of the happiness Big Red & the others are gettin...

Just make sure your ma ape repays you in chicken backs & pizzle sticks...forgiveness for a-dog-ultry is expensive...

Love & Licks,

10:41 PM  
Blogger Princess, Tank and Isaac: The Newfs of Hazard said...

Wow, Wally, you have magic healing powers!

11:02 PM  
Blogger Pippa said...

Mistress is feeling all wobbly at the thought of a three mile run. She would be better off training at the SPCA except she would want to bring them all home of course.


1:20 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

Dr. Wally,
I think that was totes generous of you to heal your ma ape and stuff after she cheated on you like that!!

3:13 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

You don't want the dollar. It's not worth a lot. Get the chicken backs. You can trade them for pizzle sticks. I would so go to you if I was sick.

4:18 AM  
Blogger Jackson's J1 and J2 said...

Hey Wally, hope your ma ape is feeling better. J x

5:27 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Dr. W. T. Corgador, My mom feels crappy today. Could you come snuggle with her so I don;t have to?


9:12 AM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

I think your mom needs therapy. How can she spend so much time cheating on you?
PS - Ike's mom here - don't listen to that whiny dog of mine. Your animal shelter seems a lot nicer than the ones around here. Pit bulls rarely make it to the adoption floor in these parts, and if the dog is old ...

10:54 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

What about the whole chicken??? I just had half of it tonight...

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

10:54 AM  
Blogger Asta said...

You awe so much bettew than any of the dogtows my hoomans go to, and I think youw pwices awe much mowe weasonable too
you look totally adowable
smoochie kisses
Pee ess..I hope all those pups find homeses soon

2:11 PM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

We're glad you made your ma ape better! Could you please send some good Walleye juju to our worthy friend Miss Carolyn? Thanks!

wags from the whippets

10:21 PM  
Blogger Lenny said...

Hey Wally,
Where did you get your medical degree? Obviously you have the magic touch.

Your friend, Lenny

8:05 AM  
Blogger Princess Patches said...

You are a miracle-worker, Wally! Cut your ma ape some slack...she's just trying to help all those homeless furkids!

Poppy, Penny & Patches

10:26 AM  

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