Thursday, July 12, 2007

Public Letter to my Granny

Dear Granny,

I am forced you write you this Dear John letter. Well, I guess it is more of a Dear Granny letter but I digress. Earlier this week you left this comment on my blog:

Granny said...

No offense Wally, but the late, great Conan was the cutest dog ever.

Now, I understand you are motivated by the fact that Conan was certainly much cuter, more charismatic and absolutely much smarter than your other two children. Not to mention, as my friend Ike pointed out, he knew his way around eyeliner like the best 80s hair bands. However, you seem to fail to appreciate your grandson's one of a kind good looks.

Let me remind you of my charming and disarming mug:

I am also very polite and willing to eat anything that is offered to me and even some things that have not been offered but have been left on the counter, the table, or your plate.

Must I remind you of

1) How my exotic good looks often lead passers-by to ask "What IS that?"
2) My underprivileged background as a homeless orphan
3) My psychiatric disorders (also known as "being a mama's boy" and "co-dependence")
4) That I am so handsome people do Google searches for my butt (seriously--more on that later)

If you are not persuaded by reason let me remind you, in the immortal words of the philosopher Beyonce, don't you ever get to thinking you're irreplaceable. Earlier this week I had THIS in my comments:

Grammie said...

You are both wise and wonderful!
Peanut and Flash's Grammie

Yes, my pals Peanut and Flash's Grammie stopped by to tell me I was wonderful. I was so honored I was blushing!

I have thrown down the gauntlet (or whatever the doggie equivalent would be since I doubt we could wear gauntlets on our paws). As an apology I will accept heaps of praise, belly rubs and, of course, edibles.

Your best grandson, Wally

Labels: , , , ,


Blogger Peanut said...

Oh your granny better watch out. My grammie is wonderful and I know for a fact that she has enough love to go around. :)
We will be waiting to here about the google searches for your butt

6:07 AM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

Hey Wally,
Of course you are special my friend. :)

6:26 AM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Oh my Wally, this sounds serious. I couldn't believe that your granny posted what she did...let's see what she has to say for herself NOW.

Lots of Licks, Ruby

8:02 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Oh, you're the CUTEST dog in the world Wally! How can your granny say that to you? That's soooo unfair!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

8:06 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

Wally: My muzzer is old enough to be a grannie, in fact, Teka is her grand-dog. So she says you can be her grand dog too, cause you are made up of two of her favorite breeds.

And I said...what about wires.

Bur she says she gots enough love for all of us.

8:46 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Obviously your granny needs to have her eyes checked. However, she may be right. Conan could have been the "cutest" dog ever. But cute is for bunnies, kittens & bald headed babies.

We're *handsome*...and you are definitely in a tie for the most handsomest dog in the whole universe.

Tell Granny she can keep her CUTE!


8:56 AM  
Blogger Ike said...

Grannies = old = bad eyes.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Oscar Airedale said...

Aw Wally, I hope granny is now feeling very guilty and ashamed of herself!

Oscar x

10:10 AM  
Blogger Boo said...

wally, you are the best. i'm sure your granny was just joking with you.

wet wet licks


11:14 AM  
Blogger Suki said...

Wow, Wally, you definitely packed Granny's bags for her guilt trip, didn't you? Hehehe!

Sure, Conan was cute, but he was just another are SPECIAL and UNIQUE!

Puggy kisses

11:23 AM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

My goodness! I am shocked! Aren't Grammy's supposed to be full of love and admiration and treats?! And then she goes and says THAT to you?!

I must tell you, though - my Grammy reads my blog, and she always says you're her favorite (besides me, of course) (and maybe Mean Sister Fig). So take comfort. Even if YOUR Granny doesn't appreciate you, there are others who can take her place.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Grammie said...

You are so adorable. How could anyone think you were not totally handsome? I am sending you a million virtual belly rubs. You could sleep on my bed anytime.
Peanut and Flash's Grammie

11:43 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

I think your granny was just trying to get a rise out of you! She did!

Love ya lots,

11:49 AM  
Blogger Frasypoo said...

OOOH grammy better watch out....there seem to be loads of grammies wanting to shower Wally with grammy love.
I would offer you mine but she very recently started to like me so i want to break her in a bit more before I offered her to you!!

12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good afternoon Wally -

I am Dory's Gramma and I have to say you would be welcome in our fold anyday.

I know Dory told all her doggy friends that I am handing out lamb chops, which isn't really true, but we do have good snacks and lots of belly rubs around here.

So if you are in the market for a new Gramma just let me know.

Cal - used to be Liza's mom now known as Dory's gramma

2:22 PM  
Blogger Kerrio said...

You are wonderful Wally, don't worry. But there are other wonderful dogs. (did I blow that one?)

2:30 PM  
Blogger The Brat Pack said...


Our Nana will adopt you as her Cyber-Grandson so your Granny better know old people are lining up for you.


PS But if she adopts you and we get married would that be incest?!

4:38 PM  
Blogger nm said...

my grandmere would also adopt you, but maybe you should just wait and see if your grandmere will apologize.

She probably is feeling pretty sheepish now.



5:10 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

oh my gosh wally...i hope your grammy doesnt get runover by a reindeer after that comment...geez...are you sure she just doesnt have that oldtimers grammy knows who the most booful dog is...and if it is any consulation...I think you are VERy handsome...very handsome indeed

5:52 PM  
Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

My Grrramma thinks you are cute. Of course, she thinks I am cutest!

Bussie Kissies

6:22 PM  
Anonymous Granny said...

Wallly: How sharper than a serpent's tooth to have a thankless Granddog. Have you forgotten the Havarti you ate at Granny's house? Without Conan to soften the Ma Ape's heart in favor of short-legged dogs you might still be homeless in Seattle.

p.s. You are also cute Wally.

7:55 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!

You and grammy need to pull the claws back in and stop the catfight, man! Yes, she's unreasonable, Wally, but she's OLD! And she's a naked ape! If you don't cut her slack I don't know who will.

Think of it as your outreach program to unreasonable old apes. (I KNOW you're into public service... so just go with it).

What's the alternative? An intervention?? Who wants to mess with that? Plus, you have more than enough admiration from your adoring public to heal your emotional scar. Open up and ride the tidal wave of love, man!

Goob love to ya, Woober butt!

11:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home