Public Letter to my Granny

Dear Granny,

I am forced you write you this Dear John letter. Well, I guess it is more of a Dear Granny letter but I digress. Earlier this week you left this comment on my blog:

Granny said...

No offense Wally, but the late, great Conan was the cutest dog ever.

Now, I understand you are motivated by the fact that Conan was certainly much cuter, more charismatic and absolutely much smarter than your other two children. Not to mention, as my friend Ike pointed out, he knew his way around eyeliner like the best 80s hair bands. However, you seem to fail to appreciate your grandson's one of a kind good looks.

Let me remind you of my charming and disarming mug:


I am also very polite and willing to eat anything that is offered to me and even some things that have not been offered but have been left on the counter, the table, or your plate.

Must I remind you of

1) How my exotic good looks often lead passers-by to ask "What IS that?"
2) My underprivileged background as a homeless orphan
3) My psychiatric disorders (also known as "being a mama's boy" and "co-dependence")
4) That I am so handsome people do Google searches for my butt (seriously--more on that later)

If you are not persuaded by reason let me remind you, in the immortal words of the philosopher Beyonce, don't you ever get to thinking you're irreplaceable. Earlier this week I had THIS in my comments:

Grammie said...

Wally:
You are both wise and wonderful!
Peanut and Flash's Grammie

Yes, my pals Peanut and Flash's Grammie stopped by to tell me I was wonderful. I was so honored I was blushing!

I have thrown down the gauntlet (or whatever the doggie equivalent would be since I doubt we could wear gauntlets on our paws). As an apology I will accept heaps of praise, belly rubs and, of course, edibles.

love,
Your best grandson, Wally