Friday, January 05, 2007

new drug for fat cats, er, dogs

the guvment has just approved the first diet drug for dogs so now americans can extend their national neuroses to their pets!

journalists have not hesitated to report the news and to make ridiculous puns about chubby dogs:

WASHINGTON - Is your hound round? Too much flab on your Lab? Is your husky, well, husky? A new drug may provide some help.

The government approved the first drug for obese canines on Friday. Called Slentrol, the Pfizer Inc. drug is aimed at helping fat Fidos shed extra pounds.

Here's how the drug works:

The liquid drug appears to reduce the amount of fat a dog can absorb. It also seems to trigger a feeling of satiety or fullness, according to the FDA.

Well that sounds fantastic! 1) reduce your dog's ability to absorb fat (which will, of course, have to be eliminated from the body--remember the naked ape drug orlistat, now with more anal leakage!?!) and 2) artificially induces a feeling of fullness (even though, unlike naked apes, we have absolutely no control over our food supply and thus lack your "will power" problems. which is good because i do have minimal will power)

dunno. i'd be inclined to say that a fat dog could probably benefit more from an extra walk or two rather than ramming pharmaceuticals down its throat, particularly since the procedures to approve pet pharmas are much less rigorous than those for the naked apes (and we know how careful they are with that--vioxx, now with more heart attacks!) i guess this is the logical next step in the ever-expanding world of consumerism. you naked apes spend billions of dollars a year on pets, sometimes on good stuff (our nutritional needs, squeaky toys, tennis balls, health spas and bully sticks) and a lot of times on vanity items that are merely a projection of your own desires and anxieties--like handbags to carry your dogs (who are not legless) in, designer clothes, earrings for dogs, and neuticles. i guess it only stands to reason that eventually you would extend your other national obsession--dieting--onto your pets!

i say take me for a walk and then give me that bully!

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Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Y'know, youmans need to take responsibility for their fat pets. They are the ones that feed us after all!

Bussie Kissies

9:03 AM  
Blogger wally said...

of course some of us are so cute i can understand how we are impossible to say no to.

but good grief, diet drugs?


7:51 AM  

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