won't someone think of the bears?

the polar bear has the now dubious distinction of being the first species to be put on the threatened list because of their shrinking habitat. the bears (unrelated to the chicago bears, i hear), have been found drowning and starving to death because the ice floes they rely upon as hunting platforms have been melting and are further apart, requiring them to swim long distances just for food. so in spite of stephen colbert's probable petition that we should eradicate ALL bears and the probable claims of anti-science members of the administration that they see plenty of bears in the coca-cola commercials, the government might step in and try to do SOMETHING for the bears. i offered to share my sister's kibble with the bears but my mawma said that wouldn't help. don't say i didn't try.