Wednesday, December 13, 2006

the ethics of bully sticks

jon katz has a new column on slate. he usually writes about dogs but this time he wrote about his bull named elvis. apparently mr katz has become some sort of dilettante farmer, with all kinds of animals he keeps around for non-commercial purposes. anyway, elvis got lonely so they got him a girl (like joe stains and his love of doofus--haha!) the story is pretty touching, though it definitely caninizes* the cattles which made me had mixed feelings about chomping down on my bully stick. (for those unfamiliar with the bully stick, it comes from a bull. and only bulls. ahem.) i even had mixed feelings about wanting a t-bone steak.

some selections:

I was surprised at my own considerable affection for him. We had some sweetly peaceful moments, with me scratching his side while he bellowed softly. When I came out in the morning, he was always waiting for me, and same thing just before dusk, when I made my final rounds. Sometimes he would put his gargantuan head on my shoulder and drool great globs on my shirt, or lower his nose nearly to the ground so that I could scratch his massive head. His sweet spot is right on the top of it, and a few scratches calm him instantly. I never imagined that I could love a steer.


Elvis was beside himself with joy. He sniffed Luna, and then the two of them took off, frisking around the pasture. I'm not sure what a happy pair of cows ought to look like, exactly, but these two seemed quite pleased to meet. Elvis literally kicked up his heels. His manners improved. He was disarmingly sweet. When the good green hay—second cut—was brought out, he let Luna get the first chomp before shoulder-butting her halfway across the meadow. When it was time for grain, he stood at one end of the trough, she at the other until their heads and noses met in the middle.

*Vocabulary: caninize (v): to attribute canine-like properties to. for example: intelligence, charm, wit, good looks, and general loveableness. antonym: humanize (v): to attribute human-like properties to. for example: being self-centered and hideously hairless.


Blogger Joe Stains said...

I've got NO love for the doofus!! But I DO have a LOT of love for bully sticks. Dang this does make you think twice about that love :(

12:52 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

Wally, Got your card today, love your version of the twelve days of Christmas. Can I post it on my blog as an "extra" one day?

lemme know, OK

6:40 PM  
Blogger wally said...

joe--i don't believe you don't love the doofus just a little bit. i'm with you on the bullies. i know! i'll make my mawma be a vegetarian so i don't feel so bad!

gus--aw, shucks. thanks! feel free to use it on your blog.


7:12 PM  
Blogger Sid the Dog said...

So THAT'S what a bully stick is!!!
Also got your card today. Love the poem as well! My card should be mailed out within the next couple of days. I hate having to depend on the Great Oppressors for handling the postage.

8:08 PM  
Blogger wally said...


i KNOW. the apes are so unreliable (mine are having problems getting appropriate postage for dog blogs abroad. they're lame. my naked apes, that is.)

and bully sticks are not only delicious but it is fun to terrify the naked apes when they learn what the cute dog is chewing on. hehe. i find male naked apes to be especially touchy on the subject.


7:15 AM  

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