Monday, January 12, 2009

Dr. Wally Is On Call!

So some of you have been expressing concern about my ma ape but I assure you there is no need. Here is the state of my ma ape's health:

No, she is not actually a horse (though she has a very horsey robust hind ends), she is healthy as a horse. Well, other than the mysterious stomach ailment last Thursday night which may or may not be traceable to the kisses I gave her after eating my chicken back.

No, my ape who is feeling a bit poorly is the J Ape, the one with the nice camera that takes loverly photos of me. Since J Ape is behind the camera I don't have a picture so let's just pretend this is J Ape.

The J Ape has been having ticker problems. I am working on a theory that he has been jealous of the attention I have received on account of my ticker problems and, of course, he wants to be cool like me so he is making his heart too big, too. Dr. Wally's diagnosis: JELLY (of Wally).

It is not easy for those of us with the Big Hearts and Soulful Eyes:

I do quite good work with the medical diagnoses. For example here is my sissy:

She is fine physically, if a bit long in the legs, but she also suffers a bit from ADD inasmuch as she has some problems paying attention and it leads her to pace endlessly and lose her toys to her snotty baby brudder. Dr. Wally's Diagnosis: JELLY (of Wally.)

Here is Baby Brudder Oscar. While he is passed out in the grass here, he is fine--if a bit on the thin and leggy side--at least on the outside. Inside that head? There be dragons. This dog is loopy. Dr. Wally's Diagnosis: JELLY (of Wally).

I am certain that any national health care program will include the services of Dr. Wally. In addition to my mad skillz diagnosing I can also do a laying on of paws that will surely cure whatever ails you. Except the Wallyjelly, because I know that I am a lot to live up to. But remember, you do not need to make your heart big to be like the Wally. Just 23 hours a day of napping (with snoring), copious snackeroonies, and sibling bossery should do the trick!

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Blogger NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

Hmmmmm - I notice it is one of the budweiser horses - is there a reason fur that?

Since I have your attention fur a bit Dr Wally, GO IGGLES!!!


8:07 PM  
Blogger Princess, Tank and Isaac: The Newfs of Hazard said...

Hey Wally! Sorry about yor J ape. We think Tank is bigger than the horse in the post below. Look at the word we have to type in! A certain lab-newf would be happy:


8:30 PM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

I'm jelly that you aren't dealing w this weather!

8:39 PM  
Blogger Randi said...

Paging Dr. Wally! Paging Dr. Wally!

Now I know where you & your sissy get your white paw paws from...YOUR MA APE!!!!! & sorry to hear about JApe's hearty problems...its hard when everyone wants to be like you...

& in response to the Newfs of Hazzard...I AM PLEASED! I think RANDEDI is a fine password to type..

I have to type APTIOSE...kinds sounds like I'm Ok with it..

Lots of love & licks to your healthy as a horsie MaApe & your JApe & your Sissy (HI ETHEL!!!) & Oscar BS Teen!

Love & Licks,

9:30 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

where can i get some jelly of wally....stat

10:28 PM  
Blogger the Corgi Girls said...

We'd like some JELLO of Wally...

M & I

10:32 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Wally Boy!

I definitely have the 23 hours of snoozing and the sibling bossery down, man! Seems like that is ALL I do.

By the way, you really do have soulful eyes.

Please give your J ape some healing goob smooches to cure his jelly-ness.

Goober love & smooches,

3:25 AM  
Blogger Simba and Jazzi said...

Wally jelly, interesting. Hope J ape is ok.

Simba x

3:37 AM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

oh get well wishes to J Ape!

I see from his photo you have published he has a fine "jelly belly"!

Dr Wally you will go down in medical history I am sure!

Sister Ethel looks as mad as a box of frogs but so much fun!

Oscar is divine! And you, well just too handsome for any poetic words apart from a Marvin Ode 'specially for you.

"Wally, Good Golly,
You are the best,

A Doctor, A Writer,
You pass all the tests.

You are above the Apes,
And my mouth is agape,

Your talents are uprising,
We adore you, tho' it's hardly surpising".

lots of licks from your old Pally - Marvin xxxxxx

4:44 AM  
Blogger Princess Patches said...

Wally, you are such a great diagnostician! We think you could give Dr. Gregory House a run for his money! Sorry, our mom is hooked on that show!

We hope your J ape is feeling better by now!

Poppy, Penny & Patches

6:08 AM  
Blogger Dexter said...

Everybody is jelly. Better watch your back. It must be a trial to you to live with all those lesser beings.


6:31 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

wally...tell your ma ape that uncooked meatables can make hoo apes sicky. Not doggies, just hoo apes. You must personally confiscate all uncooked meatables to protect your ma ape.

We hope J ape feels better soon. Is ma ape taking J ape to the V.E.T. soon?


8:32 AM  
Blogger Roxie, Sammy, Andy and Shermie said...

Hey Wally, good job diagnosing all of the JELLY (of Wally) that is happening around your house. We aren't sure that there is a cure for that though ... even 23 hours of sleeping and snacking. Well, it MIGHT work, we get 23 hours of sleeping and snacking and Mom is pretty sure we don't have the JELLY (of Wally) disease.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

9:25 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Jelly Wally. Hey it rhymes! BOL!!!

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

9:44 AM  
Blogger Eduardo said...

Poor J Ape! He's got the Jelly! Your a great doctor!
Hugs & Snugs
Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

1:56 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Dr., Both me and my ape suffer from Jelly of Wally syndrome. I am so relieved to finally know we are not alone. As for J Ape? Well, I sure hope his ticker gets better. Seem to be a lot of ticker issues going around lately. I have one auntie with a virus around her heart (not as serious as it sounds), and another auntie has tachycardia (a racing heart - which is what I get when I see you).


1:56 PM  
Blogger Life With Dogs said...

23 hours of sleep? Sounds like a greyhound!

10:07 PM  
Blogger Lindsay said...

Healing brown dog vibes to J Ape!

Wally, they can't help themselves, to be jelly of you. Sometimes you just have to cut the lesser beings some slack.


11:13 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

I totally get it now, Tanner is a doofus because he is jealous of me, DUH!? You are really a fine doctor, I sure wish I had your smarts.

11:21 PM  

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