Thursday, October 18, 2007

Hire me!


So the University of Nebraska fired their Athletic Director for 1) hiring the worst football coach in history (other than the dude at Notre Dame--ha!) and 2) being an all-around jerk. Most exciting they brought back Dr. TOM! He won three national championships with my Hooskers in the 90s.

They have not yet fired their football coach but it's got to be coming soon. I'd like to be sure I get my resume in so I get full consideration to be the next coach of the great Nebraska Cornhuskers:

Name:
  • Wally T. Corgador
Education:
  • PhDog, School of Hard Knocks 199?-2003; Canine Good Citizen 2005.
Experience:
  • Many years yelling at the telly during football games, especially important coaching tips like "TACKLE HIM" and "GO GO GO!"
  • 4+ years as Monday Morning Quarterback
  • Invented new tackling technique called "grab the tail!"
  • Own a Nebraskan
  • Visited Nebraska once.
Special Skills:
  • Eating buffalo in large quantities at incredible rates of speed
  • Pooped on Notre Dame once (the campus, not the actual cathedral. that would be hardcore)
  • Not intimidated by Ralphie, the CU buffalo.
  • Looking devastatingly handsome in red
  • Already own the outfit
  • Would look great running out of the locker room onto the field
Please hire me! I will be the best coach EVER and I will work for Nebraska beef. With the occasional buffalo steak for a bonus.

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23 Comments:

Blogger Simba said...

It sounds like the ideal job for you and they would be lucky to have you.

Simba xx

9:46 AM  
Blogger Nanook and Pooka the Newfoundlands said...

I want to hire you to be my taste-tester anyway, Wally! I don't know if I can pay as much as the Hooskers, but I would try!

9:59 AM  
Blogger Ike said...

If you don't get the job, one of my grandma's has a buffalo farm and you can come and live here and free buffalo.
Ike

10:28 AM  
Blogger The Brat Pack said...

I think you're WAY overqualified. From your resume it seems that you have more experience than most of the coaches out there already.

If they do hire you, hold out for the big bucks.

Tucker-Doodle

PS You're the only dog we know with a resume, very cool!

10:34 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

got my vote! can dogs vote? anyway, cool resume....good luck

10:41 AM  
Blogger Grammie said...

The job is in the bag!

1:44 PM  
Blogger nm said...

You want a letter of recommendation?

I'll write one.

ernest

2:06 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

Dude, I would totally hire you. I mean, if I had a football team for you to coach. Have you ever thought about being a life coach?

Poppy

2:31 PM  
Blogger Suki Sumo said...

Uh, Wally, my mommy and I were under the impression that you LIVE in Nebraska. Now we feel dumb and have NO idea where in the world you come from.

I think you'd make a good head coach! It's your INTENSITY! Mom met Coach Brewster for the Gophers over the summer. He's a nice guy but he kept talking about opening the door for ladies and how that makes you a good man (and not "allegedly" rape college coeds). Dude is obviously not a feminist.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Princess, Tank and Isaac: The Newfs of Hazard said...

OK, Wally, You're a shoe-in! We took the liberty of forwarding some choice morsels from your blog to the powers that be at Nebraska and I'm sure they'll be contacting you soon. In the meantime, thanks for the intervie wQ's! We don't understand the one about our jobs though. Can you explain or tell us which post inspired that? Thanks!

3:56 PM  
Blogger Marvin - Braveheart Hound said...

I would hire you! Perhaps you could coach the Scotland or England football team, they all seem in need an expert in these matters!

love and licks, Marv xxxxx

4:18 PM  
Blogger Maggie & Mitch said...

I personally think they'd have a winning season if they hired you!

Love ya lots,
Maggie

4:42 PM  
Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

I could just see you Walls, nipping at the heels of the players to get them going!

Bussie Kissies
Buster

6:33 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Woober!

You better be sending that resume in to them. SERIOUSLY! Whether they hire you or not, (and they would be seriously stoopid NOT to), maybe you'll get a spokespup gig for the Hooskers! If they're smart, they'd sue you in ALL their advertising.

Goober love,
Stanley

6:52 PM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

What are they waiting for??? Not only would you be the bestest coach in the history of coaches, but you'd work for beef! And you'd look super handsome on the sidelines. The PR alone would be a huge bonus.

Sherman

7:51 PM  
Blogger Ben_Benjamin said...

THey should hire you or they will be dumb dumb !!

7:55 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Wally
Sure you will get the job! I don't think many others have the resume that you have!
With you they will be a winning time again!
Have a good night
Lorenza

9:07 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

wally, if they don't hire you they are completely CRAZY! Seriously, who else is suited for that job?!

9:16 PM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

It's pretty obvious you were made for this job! They have to hire you. :)

10:16 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

I don't why they wouldn't hire you...you clearly have all the qualifications AND you are good looking!!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

7:25 AM  
Blogger Suki & Joey said...

"Own a Nebraskan"...lol! Those are some pretty pawsome reasons why they should hire you. Would they pay you in foodables? That would ROCK!

Puggy kisses
Suki

8:40 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Oh, I'm very sure you will be hired Wally, no doubt!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

8:51 AM  
Blogger the Corgi Girls said...

Wally for coach! You'll get all the babes that way too you know...

4:16 PM  

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