waiting for returns

my sister and i are sitting around waiting for the election returns to roll in. let me just say i was nothing short of irate to find that i couldn't vote. as many of you may remember, last summer i won my canine good citizen certificate and yet, even though i showed up at the polling station with my certificate i didn't get to vote. WHAT? i don't mangle jokes, engage in pre-emptive strikes, poop in the house (that's for you, goddamn cats), or enviscerate the constitution. and yet you don't trust ME--a GOOD citizen--to vote.


here i am contemplating america's future. or a crumb of food that may or may not be trapped in the carpet.

my sister ethel finds more active ways to spend her time. here she is playing 'West Coast Offense' or 'Cornhusker football, the losing years.' Her favorite player Marlon Lucky not only caught a TD pass last weekend but threw one! awesome. her distraction technique has worked. i haven't thought about dirty tricks in the election in several minutes!


here my sister runs stairs with her squeaky football. that's how she keeps her svelte figure. but you can see the worry in her eyes. is she thinking about rebuilding america's middle east policy or is she just hypnotized by the squeaker in her ball?

here i am gnawing on the deceased remnants of one-party rule. democracy tastes so sweet.


if i close my eyes i can almost taste rick santorum's defeat. mmmmmm.