the new stealth justice

the internets have scooped a new story. it appears that the real supreme court nominee is barney, the dog. the president looked into his heart, and then his pockets for milk bones, and found the nominee he believes is best for the job. trust him. he scoured the halls for at least five minutes to find someone--or something--to nominate.

while i believe i am the better dog for the job, i do think barney is better than ole harriet, the other lap dog that was noinated. he has a longer paper trail (rumor has it he was paper trained during his potty training), they will not need to buy him a black robe since he already has a fancy black coat, and his frequent tail-chasing and running in circles indicates that his judicial philosophy may be close to sandra day o'connor 's whom he is replacing. (justice scalia will get that joke. but i'd still pee on him).

for those on the right who are concerned about barney's lack of conservative cred, don't worry. he has assured me that he is "no david souter." that is, he is not mild-mannered and will not hesitate to bite counsel that annoy him nor is he above clinging to the pantlegs of justices with whom he disagrees, humping their legs until they sign on to his opinions. plus, all dogs go to heaven (wink wink).

and to the left--you need more attack dogs on your side. barney is firmly pro-choice (we dogs make all the choices. you naked apes shut up). dogs will never let you down. can you say the same for naked apes?