Wally Tamale Gets Serious (Sort of)

Your heart just melted, eh?

I'd like to be serious for a moment, keeping the fart jokes to a minimum. (Minimum, not zero). I have a burpday coming up on the 22nd--the big FIVE (actual age not known). It's been almost five years since I rescued my ma ape. This is very exciting and I've been spending a lot of time watching My Super Sweet Sixteen on MTV and I've learned that I need to be a total brat, buy an expensive and tacky dress, and have a big name performer. I understand negotiations with the Spice Girls broke down after they ended their tour due to creative differences (who gets the platform shoes with the fish in the sole?) So now I'm working on an ABBA tribute band.

Now, I take my burpday VERY seriously and I have every intention of partying like it is 1999 (when I likely had better hips that could take the swiveling). I've been getting tips from the Whippets who know how to throw a bash. But here's the thing. I'm a dog who has everything he needs. A home, half a dozen beds, forty-seven blankets, a heating bad, an enormous pile of stuffies, a freezy box full of meatables. I am not a dog who has everything he wants. And what I want is for every dog who has ever been homeless like I was to find a home where they are treated like the awesome dudes they are.

I was inspired by my good pal Marvin who asked on his last birthday that everyone who was thinking of giving him presents to instead give them to a dog in need. I think this is a wonderful idea. I don't expect anything for my burpday (except from YOU MA APE! PONY UP!) but if you were thinking about sending something I hope you will consider giving to a shelter or a rescue or just to a dog you know who maybe has less than he deserves. Here's some inspiration, Ms. Bobbi who is in a shelter in Yakima, Washington (where I am from!). I'm trying to convince my ma ape to drive and get her.



I, doing my part, promise to get down get down for my burpday and take lots of pictures of me celebrating and carrying on. And you are all welcome to party with me! No party poopers allowed--MA APE!