on notice

this is your one month warning ( a few days off). my burpday is february 22 so you'd best start shopping now. possible gifts include:

1. a seahawks jersey with my name on it
2. bully sticks (preferably a 3-footer)
3. a puppy bowl dvd
4. salmon (smoked or stuffed with crab, please)
5. mocha (the dog, not goddamned overpriced coffee)
6. a beemer
7. ape squeakees (my sister ethel ate my favorite one!)
8. a cart so i can chase my sister even when my back hurts
9. rimadyl. mmmmmm.
10. a karaoke machine and abba's greatest hits
11. a little brother (a lab, a corgi, a newfie, or some combination will do)

and, with me, you really can't go wrong with food.