Monday, August 15, 2005

wally loves (some) apes

Wally Sleeps on Ape
Originally uploaded by cerasmus.
here i am with my new squeaky orange-tang. i got my stitches out today and my vet told me i am the best dog EVER so i got to go to the pet store to pick out a new toy. naturally, i picked out the biggest toy and the tastiest snacks (bully sticks!) to enjoy. i love hairy apes. i have four ape toys now and counting.

lest you think my goodwill toward apes extends to you naked apes, i came across THIS story today:

Paris dumps her littlest friend: Celebrity breakups are always hard, even more so when the one getting left behind can't possibly tell her side of the story to some glossy magazine. Paris Hilton has decided she needs someone younger, so is dumping her once-minuscule Chihuahua Tinkerbell for an even smaller dog named Bambi. Paris insists that it's only because Tink has some sharing issues: "I still have Tinkerbell and I love her, too, but she gets jealous and she bites him when I'm holding both of them." But a friend told New York magazine that she "only likes them when they're very small, and Tinkerbell got too big." The whole thing might actually be the fault of Paris' bad parenting -- a dog breeder familiar with teacup Chihuahuas says, "Tinkerbell is at the larger end of the teacups. Usually, they won't go over 3.5 pounds, but if you fix them or feed them junk ..."

i love reading about my fellow canines in the news and, while i sometimes question whether these little toy dogs are really dogs or just highly evolved rats, this really makes me MAD. rampaging mad. rumor has it she only wanted a dog that fit in her fendi bag. i hope her new dog poops in her bag that costs more than rescuing two dozen dogs. just saying. man is NOT the rational animal. but i can sleep at night remembering that in non-monetary terms i'm worth at least a hundred paris hiltons.


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