Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A Nature Film (in pictures)

I would like to thank the girls of the Corgi Lounge for giving perhaps the most accurate description of my athletic prowess EVER:

it looks like a lion about to take down a zebra on the animal planet or discovery channel, BOL!

I'm not sure why they felt the need to burst out laughing but I'll assume it is their amusement at the zebra being TAKEN DOWN by the ferocious lion. So, in the spirit of a great nature film, I give you Nature Red in Tooth and Claw starring Wally and Ethel. Please read the narration in a pompous and booming voice. This is Mutual of Omaha's WILD WALLY KINGDOM:

This is the Ethel, one of the fastest creatures known to man or beast, known to reach speeds of 30 mph when there is a Tennis Ball at stake.

The Ethel has not only freakishly long and fast legs, she also has a fearsome set of chompers, best used for disemboweling The Tennis Ball:

The only known enemy of The Ethel is this small but ferocious beast, The Wally, a rare and precious being. See how he stalks his prey, stealthily putting his ears back to make himself both more aerodynamic and less detectable.

The Wally's preferred hunting method involves the bark and poke in which he whines, barks and eventually pounces on and pokes his prey with his nose. Can you see the fear in the eyes of The Ethel who is trying desperately to ignore her harasser.

Note The Ethel's sheer terror as she is confronted by the beast.

As she reaches for the prize--The Tennis Ball--he attacks!

He is on the prey!

The Wally moves in on his quarry-The Tennis Ball--rescuing it from the mouth of The Ethel.

Yet another successful steal in the life of The Wally, a mysterious and wondrous creature of the wild.

He leaves The Ethel to contemplate how she has been bested by this remarkable animal.

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Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Prepare yourself, Wally. You are about to experience unprecedented fame. Biologists, zoologists, and psychologists all over the world are about to descend upon you, all vying for the opportunity to study the rare and possibly endangered Wally. If it all becomes too much for you, you are welcome to hide out here.


5:49 PM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

We don't think that the corgis were Bursting Out Laughing. We think they were Barking Out Loud in wonderment.

Just thought we'd clear that up for ya, Wally Wildodor.

the whippet waggle

6:26 PM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

Whoa - the bark and poke.... I never tried that, but it sure looks ferociously terrifying to the victim. It's a wonder The Ethel is still alive to tell the tale.

6:32 PM  
Blogger Randi said...

Whats gonna happen next on the Wild World of Wally? I'm enthralled! Does anyone know if the tongue of THE ETHEL is really that long? Must be photoshopped...ITS SOOO FREAKISHLY LONG!

Bark & brother used to do that with very successful results!

Love & Licks,

6:44 PM  
Blogger Boomer and his mom Carol said...


Mom sends you, Ethel, and your human many kisses and hugs for remembering my grandma's surgery. Things went really well and hopefully she will be able to come home tomorrow or the day after.

You are the best!!!!

7:55 PM  
Blogger Jen and Suki said...

Bark and poke... hmm, not sure how possible that is for a flat-nosed pup like myself, yet like you I tend to take down dogs four times my size. Ah, the fierceness of pugs and corgadors!

It always surprises me how much bigger The Ethel is than you. Not sure why!

10:08 PM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

oh my, in my absence from the Dog Blogs I see what fun I have missed.

I am reassured to see Ethel is looking as crazy as ever, sweetie pie, crazy gal, that she is!

And Wally is still just the most fearsome King of the Jungle and neighbourhood!

Good on you Wally! May your reign be long and prosperous, and may Ethel always be the crazy gal with the manic eyes and teeth.

oh how I have missed you both in my sojourn at the vets!

Happy Christmas to you all, and good wishes to the New Year!

Love and many licks, your Pal in Scotland, Marvin xxxxxx

and lotsaluv from Jeannie tooooo!


2:27 AM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

so what happens next??? I'm sitting here waiting, is the commercial over yet?

Lots of Licks, Ruby

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure what to say about all of this hunting and gathering stuff. Did you eat the tennis ball? I think the lion eats the zebra.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Kerrio said...

Whoaaa Wally - that is a serious body-check you are doing there. I think you are ready to take n a wolfie!

12:01 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Marlin Perkins is applauding you from the grave. Wally, you are quite the orator and you didn't exaggerate at all. You really did overcome the great obstacle of Ethel and capture that amazing prey. Way to go! I can learn from you.


4:49 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

If I didn't know that the Wally ws a lovew, I'd be scawed to deaf wight now just seeing him stalk his pwey,hehe
smoochie kisses

8:55 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

this was truly educational. do cars drive by your house with cameras and people hoping you will stick your head in their car?

9:19 PM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

So that's how you capture a tennis ball ...

11:00 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Wally
Have you tried to contact Animal Planet?? I am sure they will be really interested in this Nature Film. Sure is a master piece!
Have a good night

11:42 PM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

Haa you sure had a pawsome time playing with Ethel. hee

~ Girl girl

12:55 AM  
Blogger The Brat Pack said...

OMD. You could be SO rich if you sold this stuff. I bet National Geographic would be interested too.

I'm gonna have to try the Bark & Poke. Right now I'm just barking. Or just poking. Never put them together, you're a genius.


10:45 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Woober Boy!

I want to see the episode where it shows the rare Wally Beast in his natural habitat, the social structure of his fellow beasts, and his mating habits. (What DO you call a bunch of Wallies? A Waggle of Wallies? A pod, a herd, a gaggle???

Thank you for a rare glimpse into the hunting habits of the Wally Beast. Can't wait for the next episode. (Wasn't the Wally Beast originally stalking the Ethel??)

Goober love & smooches,

1:24 AM  

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