Monday, January 17, 2005

why do we let people vote?

last night animal planet showed the Eukanuba national championship of dogs and they introduced a new element--the "people's choice" in which you could go online and vote for your favorites. now, let's be honest, dog shows are worse than the BCS when it comes to choosing a "national champion"--not only do they exclude mutts (which is like saying we won't ever let Nebraska play for another national championship! though it looks like they're doing a good job of excluding themselves-but that's another blog for another time) but also they use arbitrary stupid human standards against which they measure dogs not on their general awesomeness (like their ability to climb up the pantry shelves and get down snacks) but on some silly standard of what they're supposed to look like. it's not unlike human beauty pageants where they use a standard of beauty that most women have to use questionable practices at best and actual surgical altering at worst to achieve. and now there are rumors that people are getting plastic surgery for their showdogs to improve their looks. or, my personal favorites, neuticles! they're supposed to retain my natural look and self-esteem after neutering! trust me, i am not suffering from a lack of self-esteem. with or without balls, i rule the dogpark. keep the unecessary surgeries to yourselves.

anyway, a bloodhound won in the real show and the viewer's choice which was nice because it wasn't a poodle or a pomeranian. you gotta love a dog that bays and drools and does what real dogs do. i was really disappointed in you naked apes, though, for going for some of the more obvious choices--beagles? golden retrievers? my winner, harry potter the cardigan welsh corgi, got robbed in the herding category. seriously, he's one hot dog. harry, give me a call.

it's clear to me that they give you the same boring choices because if you ever had a charismatic little mutt like me on i'd steal the show. i might be missing some (most) of my teeth and my head is a little too big for my body but i'm one of a kind.

seriously, do i sound like need neuticles?

3 Comments:

Blogger Kate said...

As a new show dog owner (and former purebred-dog-people-hater) I feel obliged to both defend the sport and agree with Wally's point. Technically, dog shows are supposed to contributed to making sure a breed stays healthy and looking like the breed it is (hench a standard), awarding dogs of superiour form so that they can pass on their genes. My breed is the Cardigan (ironically), and his Cardigan structure should be such that he can herd efficiently. This means no steep shoulder, which makes for flashy ring movement, but is not so good when one has to chase sheep all day (it's a waste of motion). Unfortunately you get judges who don't know as much as they ought, and breeders who will breed any way they have to to win. Judges can single-handedly ruin a breed. Irish Setters in America, for example, have those deep chests. In Ireland, they're still used as working dogs and can run for hundreds of miles a day. American dogs can't do that. And Bulldogs have become so extreme in their characteristics that they can't even give birth on their own. It's really sad.

And people will indeed do amazing things in the name of winning. Lord help me, if anyone ever poisons my dog to get past me in competition, there's going to be a reckoning. It may be the dirtiest sport around, and it scares me at times.

2:57 PM  
Blogger wally said...

hi kate!
thank you for reading my blog, even knowing its written by a dog. but since you own a corgi i know you take dogs very seriously and understand that we really run the show. i make fun of dog beauty pageants but i watch them every saturday morning on animal planet--mostly to see my corgi relatives.

i wish they'd show more herding trials and agility competitions. see, people see me (and i have a cardi body) and they think i'm fat. or that i'm not athletic. people fail to appreciate that we can be amazing athletes (if we are also prone to chubbiness due to our love of snacks and our overwhelming cuteness that compels you naked apes to feed us!). i love watching corgis work! so fast and smart. i would love to do agilty but my big head would get in the way of the weave poles. bonk! i practice by galloping around my living room. does your corgi do that? my mawma had a purebred pembroke when she was little, hence her love of the short-legged guys, and he used to do the same thing. you naked apes should really pay us for entertaining you.

of course, secretly i hope that corgis don't get too popular. i know what you mean about keeping them healthy and so on. while corgis do make the most awesome mixes (see: me!) bad things can happen, too, if you naked apes don't watch out for us. and puppy mills are the saddest thing ever.

thanks for reading my blog, kate, and for taking care good care of your corgi. we're so perfect why would anyone think of changing us? short legs rule!

9:14 AM  
Anonymous Janet said...

I found a Irish Setter Kennel in Wisconsin that I visited to get a old fashioned type Irish Setter. These dogs are the only Irish Setters I have been able to find that are the old fashioned type from years ago and are used as working dogs. You may want to visit the site at http://www.geocities.com/rosellesmyth/
We bought a puppy while we were there and she is just wonderful!

12:47 PM  

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