Friday, January 19, 2007

terrorist cell discovered in doggy door


dear homeland security,

i would like to alert you to the formation of a new terrorist organization, though i doubt it is really organized since it would be like herding cats. pun intended. there appears to be an epidemic of fat cats raiding the food bowls of unsuspecting dogs. hercules has been all the rage in the news lately after getting stuck in a doggy door in oregon because he was so damned fat. we dogs require greater food security. we feel constantly terrorized by the goddamn cats and, frankly, i have been losing valuable beauty rest vigilantly guarding my food dish.

so, since you are not so good at the planning, especially exit strategies, i would like to suggest the following. kindly employ my sister ethel who is a mindless chasing machine (this morning she tried to chase her shadow for two whole blocks on our walk before realizing she would never catch up with it). tell everyone to put their goddamn cats out and my sister ethel will chase to them to a location like, say, the president's ranch in crawford so that when he retires he can stay busy clearing brush and cleaning litter boxes. in my sister's absence i promise to do my part for homeland security by diligently eating HER dinner as well as my own so as not to attract any undiscovered cells of goddamn fatcats.

sincerely,

wally.
a k-9 good citizen (certificate available on request)

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6 Comments:

Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Give that cat some helium!

Bussie Kissies
Buster

10:52 PM  
Blogger Joe Stains said...

holy crud that is the fattest cat ever. Wally you are a genius and I must say that I admire your planning skills.

12:51 AM  
Blogger Marvin The Dog said...

wow! Who blew that darn cat up so much!

10:11 AM  
Blogger Butchy & Snickers said...

Wow, that cat is almost bigger than a Lynx! What has it been eating? You better start eating her food Wally, hehehehe!
Luv & Wirey Hugs!
Butchy & Snickers

11:33 PM  
Blogger Sharon said...

Snickers would be happy to handle the cat for you. He he he.
Rat Terriers can be cat terrorists if you let them.
Snickers

4:00 PM  
Blogger Girasol said...

OMG !

4:49 PM  

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